Powerful Exercise for Being Happier & More Compassionate Towards Yourself

Wow, I had a really powerful experience/exercise tonight and I wanted to share it because I think it will be helpful to a lot of people in some way or another...

The exercise immediately brought an old, pretty private, journal entry to mind and I thought I’d start there since it shows what the exercise is for and the place where I used to be back then, and know from experience a lot of people are there. Then I'm going to talk about my experience last night, followed by instructions for the exercise (so you can scroll freely). I wrote this journal entry at the very beginning of my “Dark Night” when I was 24 (I'm 28 now) and I’m sharing (unedited) because I think that’s why entries and experiences like these come through:


Perfection

The depths of my soul can be really scary to explore. If on the surface I seem complex, then I don’t think there is even a word to describe what’s underneath.

I have a happy disposition towards life but can be prone to sadness at times. Sadness usually takes over me when I’ve let myself down or am not happy with something about myself. Or when things are out of my control.

I learned early on how to thwart such sadness. Any time I feel myself plunging into such a state, I like to pull out a journal and start analyzing what about me I’m not happy with and start listing all the areas of myself I’d like to improve. From character, to sense of humor, to education, to new talents, to the physical. I make my list and then write out the steps I will take to get there. After this exercise, I always feel much better. Even if my original state of sadness had nothing to do with myself. Just gaining control over something and having a plan for improving it makes me feel better. I’ve been doing it for years. It’s almost an obsession with bettering myself and striving for perfection. And as long as I think that I’m going to be a better person in the future, then I feel better.

Today I found myself plunging into a deep state of sadness. Because of a small, insignificant event. Someone I care about slighted me. I felt negative feelings rising up within me. A strong dislike for him growing.

I plunged further and locked myself up in the bathroom, bursting into tears.

For no reason really.

Except an insignificant guy.

I glanced in the bathroom mirror and tried to focus on my new perfect teeth. I never got to go to the dentist as a kid due to lack of money. As a result I never got the braces I needed and I had chipped teeth from the playground days that had never been fixed. Upon graduation from law school, I worked with a dentist to try to correct all the problems. My teeth are finally fully corrected. So I stared at them. Trying to smile and focusing on how much better they looked. They’re perfect. But instead I found myself staring at the new sun spots and freckles on my face. I’ve been in the sun way too much.

I stared at myself and felt ugly.

Maybe if I get more beautiful……

I reminded myself that I now had enough money get sunspots and freckles lasered off if they really bothered me. “Its not a big deal J. They’ll be gone in a few months if you want. Make up can fully cover them til then. It’s not a big deal. You can call a doctor tomorrow.”

Maybe once I get the freckles and sun damage removed……..

I moved on to my hair. It’s not as long and full as I’d like. “You can get fancy hair extensions too. The bonded kind that don’t mess up your real hair. The kind that your industry friends have.”

“And you can get the pretty eyelash extensions that all your friends are getting as well. Those make everyone’s eyes look beautiful.”

Maybe when I get rid of my freckles, get hair and eye lash extensions….

That would be major improvements. I’ll definitely be prettier.


But that’s not enough. It wouldn’t be enough. What else? I stared more intently into the mirror.

Maybe if I lifted weights every day and lost the 10 lbs I’ve gained….


But before I gained the 10 lbs, that still wasn’t enough. So I know that losing 10 lbs won’t make me feel much better. That’s something that I need to do. But wouldn’t make a difference in me.

Suddenly my mind flashed back to our tour guide in Venezuela who had offered us “Health and Tourism” packages. He said he could take us to the Miss Universe surgeon as part of a tour package and we could get whatever done.

Maybe if I went back to Venezuela and came back looking like Miss Universe….


Would that be enough?

Suddenly I remembered that my most beautiful friends tend to be the ones with the major psychological problems and drug addictions, and that maybe I should focus more on improving my mind or internal things.


Maybe if I accomplish more……

Maybe once I get my first book published…..

Maybe once I get good at photography and get an exhibit going…..

Maybe when I travel the whole world…..

Maybe once I fully brush up on my history and philosophy…. When I can remember off the top of my head what Kant said, what Nietzsche said, what Aristotle said…..

Maybe once I learn to speak Portuguese and Italian. Then I’ll speak 5 languages…. That’s impressive.

Maybe if I learn to play the piano.

Maybe if I learned how to cook more dishes. International ones.

Maybe if I go back to Shao-Lin and finally get my black belt.

Maybe if I can get to the point where I never have a negative thought about anyone.

Maybe when I’m perfect.

Maybe what???

Who am I trying to be perfect for?

I never even meet men that I really like like that. One of my deep fears is that I’m never going to find anyone that I like enough to fall in love with.

So for what then? For who?

For myself?

Do I need to do all that to love myself?

But don’t I already love myself????

I mean there is no one I’d rather spend time with than myself.
I thoroughly enjoy my own company.
And I am sure that I’ve BEEN past all my insecurities.
And that I fully love and accept myself.


But then who is it that I’m striving to reach some level of perfection for?
Who is it that I’m trying to impress?
Who’s love is it that I’m trying to gain?
And if that someone doesn’t already love me without all said improvements,
Then is that person even worth all this struggle and work for perfection?
And if that person isn’t worth it………
What if that person is me?”


EXPERIENCE TONIGHT:

Years after dropping those behaviors, that entry flashed back into my head during an exercise tonight.

I work with the chant “Om Mani Padme Hum” every day. It’s the mantra used to invoke love, mercy and compassion, and has tons of benefits. It brings blessings of love and compassion from God, opens your heart, fills you with love and compassion, it can be used to shower other people with the same, and it has a “wish fulfilling” effect as well. It can be used in different ways, but I’ll talk about how I generally like to use it(actual instructions in section below w/pronunciation). I usually sit and visualize the people/things I’d like to send love to in front of me. I start with the whole earth, then family/friends, people who need love at the moment, anyone I feel upset towards, anyone I like a lot (to open my heart to them), etc. On the “OM” I visualize my heart as a big pink Lotus flower opening up completely, and on the “Mani” I start sending love from my open heart to the person. In between each chant I breathe in the blessings that always start to pour down immediately, being very receptive. Then I chant it again (usually at least 2 times per person/set of people).

This is super helpful for forgiving, particularly for people like me who are always WILLING to forgive people. I always want to forgive and think I do. But chanting “Om Mani Padme Hum” towards someone always lets me know if I’m still holding something because my heart and chest suddenly feel tight and my heart doesn't feel fully open at first.

Well today out of nowhere, I decided to chant it towards myself. I had never thought of doing that before because as the channel of the blessings, you already receive them, so sending the blessings you are already receiving towards yourself seems unnecessary. But for some reason it’s just where my meditation went. And OMG.

I’ve never ever felt my heart get so hard and closed during this chant before. Ever. And I’ve used this chant on just about every person who has ever “wronged” me (serious things like rape included, and of course people like exes included). And my heart hadn’t been half as hard or as closed towards any of them. The second I that realization hit me, I immediately started crying. And the entry above flashed through my head as it sunk in that I was still holding the habit of being harder on myself than on anyone else, and that I don’t tend to treat myself with the same compassion/empathy I treat others. While I do love myself fully it was still easier for me to be more merciful towards others than towards myself. That’s not a fun realization but very true for many people. You tend to be your toughest critic and expect a perfection from yourself that you don't expect from others.

Watching my own heart slowly open up more and more towards myself with every repetition of the chant was kind of crazy. And it caused more tears (but healing tears) as I released all that junk from my heart. In between each chant, I accepted the love and compassion being showered upon me from God, and from myself. It was a very healing and awesome experience. And I’m now adding myself to my “Om Mani Padme Hum” list. It’s totally getting added to my 10-week program as a suggested every day practice starting from day one(hey, you’re getting it for free). Because not only does it open your heart towards others and fill you with peace, love and compassion, but it allows you to be more loving towards yourself and to let go of whatever you are holding against yourself.


INSTRUCTIONS:

1)Sit in a comfortable, quiet place. I like to keep my feet on the ground (helps ground the energy received).

2)If you need help with pronunciation, you can click on this video and go to the 16:10 min mark (this is exactly how I chant it): http://pranichealing.com/stream/urgent-meditation-bless-mexico This practice for me has largely evolved from Pranic Healing practices.

3)Invoke for Divine Blessings and set your intention. You can pray to whoever you’d like, however you are invoking the more feminine aspect of God, so I’d suggest including the Divine Mother in one (or all) of her manifestations, particularly as the Buddha Quan Yin, or as the Virgin Mary (and/or any of her manifestations) if that resonates more with you. And ask for what you want to get out of this (blessing the planet, receive blessings in the form of ___, forgiving, etc.).

4)Place your hands on your lap, opened, palms up. Ready to receive, or release.

5)Close your eyes and visualize yourself standing directly in front of you.

6)Now chant “Om Mani Padme Hum” as you send yourself love and compassion. Start by inhaling in and allowing Divine Energy to enter your crown and flow down to your heart. On the “Om” visualize your heart as a big, Lotus flower opening up completely, and on the “Mani” start sending love from your open heart to yourself (visualize pink light coming out of your heart, project it towards the image of you in front of you and fully covering it). In between each chant, breathe in the blessings that immediately pour down through your crown and allow yourself to receive. Then chant it again as many times as you feel like chanting. I always repeat at least twice for everything. When doing it on yourself for the first time, I’d go with at least 10 times.

7)Before you chant to bless yourself, you can (and I’d suggest) chant to send love to your loved ones/other people. So do everything above, but while visualizing other people.

8)Give thanks for all the blessings, love, compassion, mercy, and whatever you asked for.


A LITTLE EXTRA BACKGROUND INFO ON MY EXPERIENCE, FOR WHOEVER WANTS IT:

Funny, earlier this week I started taking a new course working with the energy of the Divine Feminine because I’m trying to put a big course together and this week I was focusing on the power of receptivity and allowing yourself to receive…. And I majorly picked up one thing from the first class (that was like a side note in the course)- She asked, “When was the last time you allowed yourself to be loved?” And that just really got me. while still sitting in the class I wrote a new affirmation, “I now completely allow myself to be loved.”

LOL, and at the same time, for the last couple of days I’ve had the song, “I really miss your hair on my face, and the way your innocence tastes,” stuck in my head NON-STOP. I had been thinking, “What in the world?? I don’t have anyone I miss! Why is it stuck in my head??” Granted I’m doing choreography to it (chosen by somebody else), but its never been stuck in my head all day long like that- and it was only those two lines. Then last night someone commented on how I attract a lot of men who will do a lot of crazy things for me. And I was about to complain that while I may attract a lot of really extravagant high-profile men/millionaires that other women might love, the nice, more down to earth guys that I’M actually into don’t seem to show much interest in me, but I stopped myself and instead said, “Okay this is a serious pattern. And I’d like to release it. What is in me that keeps attracting this pattern into my life?” I asked before I went to sleep and when I woke up this morning, guess what was the first thing in my head? The two lines above. I sighed in frustration but decided to reach for my iPod and see if there were any clues in it. I didn’t have to go too far…. LOL, the title read, “Better than Me.” The direct line following the 2 lines that were stuck in my head says, “And I think you should know this, you deserve much better than me.”

I thought “Wow. Hmmm…. So…… apparently I think the really nice guys I like deserve better than me. And I attract really high-profile guys that I’m not into like that in order to superficially feed my ego, but not get too involved. Because as I realized earlier this week, I haven’t been too comfortable with allowing myself to be loved. And its apparently tied to guilt I’m holding...”

And THAT would be the consequence of being harder on yourself than others and not showing yourself the same understanding.

That was this morning. Then this exercise happened tonight. Just some background to show how nothing is ever without meaning and how everything always ties together. Make sure you are open to the clues.

FREEBIES!

Free resources are scattered through my blog entries because they tend to be prevalent in the energy healing community, a community that tends to encourage giving and being of service. Today I wanted to post a couple of my favorites.

1)Daily Om Courses. I love this service. I guess technically they're not free because they're "donation-based," but you are free to donate just $1. There are some courses on there that they do charge for, but most are just donation-based and they have a lot of cool ones to choose from. They include courses by people like Deepak Chopra and Debbie Ford:
http://www.dailyom.com/cgi-bin/courses/courses.cgi

2)Pranic Healing Free Live Video Streams. This is probably the one I use the most. Master Co, one of the most awesome healers I know, live streams free full moon meditations once a month. And then the videos remain on the website so you can go back and re-do it anytime you want. These meditations are WONDERFUL. They're pretty intense, easy to do, bring inner-healing, fill you with peace, develop your chakras (trust me), and increase your good karma. Energy cleansing and healing are also included at the beginning of each meditation. I often return to my favorite meditations throughout the month. Also as a bonus, Master Co frequently live streams free lectures that are open to the general public. In fact, tonight's weekly lecture is open to all. For me its a huge honor to be one of his students:
http://pranichealing.com/stream


The two below aren't actually directly related to spirituality, but since I really appreciate them, I'll include them.

3) Did you know you MIT offers its courses for free online??! I was completely amazed when I first found out about this. Its an awesome effort to make quality education accessible to anyone who wants it and has access to a computer. You can take a course on just about any subject, from one of the top schools in the country:
http://ocw.mit.edu/index.htm

4) Study over 70 different languages- for free. I was just as thrilled when I first found this website. You can dowload a course in just about any language, for free. I think I downloaded 4 different languages the first night I found it. :-D
http://www.byki.com/

Enjoy!

Food- Pretty Important Stuff.

I've been really getting into nutrition lately. Just from my work and study alone, I believe the 2 main things that cause people physical illness are 1) negative emotions and 2) diet, and the two are actually often intertwined. I've spent a lot of time now helping people with emotional health, and so it was time to venture into nutrition. And I've been learning really important things that have honestly surprised me, or at least the fact that they aren't common knowledge has surprised me. My eating habits have drastically changed over the last 4 months and I really wanted to share because food has such a huge impact on your physical body and chakras. And even on your spiritual practices being that your body has to be able to handle the energy during meditation.

PLEASE take the time to educate yourself about what you put into your body. Not just about things like fat (which is what I had worried about in the past since my relationship w/food often revolved around the asthetics of my physical body), but about deadly stuff.

As an example, studies show that corn syrup feeds cancer cells & helps them reproduce. So if you have a cancerous cell or small tumor somewhere that you might have no idea exists (and that your immune system might just blast off on its own), corn syrup gives it food to multiply and spread. That's pretty important. Particularly since corn syrup is present in an estimated 90% of fast food and processed foods (like bread, cereal, chips, soda, junk food, etc.) since corn is subsidized by the government and super cheap.

Here's an article on this information: http://articles.mercola.com/sites/articles/archive/2010/08/27/warning--fructose-feeds-cancer-cells.aspx?aid=CD945

Sounds as dangerous as smoking, right? And like something you should know as you as you decide between reaching for a bowl of raw cashews or some potato chips.. People often wonder why cancer has become so widespread.... Seems like the answers might be in the food people are putting in their bodies.

If you want to find out more about the food you are putting into your bodies, I'd recommend watching Food Inc. (u can watch it on youtube if you'd like). After tons of people telling me I should watch it since I'm into all this stuff, I finally gave in last night. Previously I had just read about the points in the movie and watched interviews because any kind of animal abuse really ruins my mood, and I didnt want to subject myself to it (did you know pigs are smarter than dogs?? And so sweet: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iDtj4uT2eCg ). I sucked it up last night because I saw how many people were changing their eating patterns after watching the movie and because I found myself often recommending it though I hadnt actually watched it. I bypassed my issue by watching the movie during my workout and just turning around and lifting weights whenever I saw they were about to show animals. :-D

Here are the links-

Website: http://www.foodincmovie.com/
Where you can watch on youtube: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lyagLY1Nem8


Even if this is not your thing, I think you'll appreciate the info in the movie since it touches on so many subjects.

Also another example, though its not mentioned in the movie, are the health stats for meat-eaters. The #1 killer in the U.S. is heart disease and men have a 50% risk of dying from a heart attack (thats one out of two...). The risk drops down 15% for vegetarians and 4% for vegans (from John Robbins Pulitzer-nominated book, "Diet for a New America": http://www.newveg.av.org/realities.htm -Just control F to "heart attack" but plenty of other interesting stats on there). Wow right? The meat and dairy lobbies are pretty strong. This is stuff I didnt know before going vegetarian. I did it purely because I love animals and didnt think my taste palate was enough to justify suffering and killing. But I was impressed by the stats afterward. The stats are also ridiculous when it comes to colon cancer (risk increases by like 300% if u eat meat) and other cancers too. I know that for energetic reasons in Pranic Healing we recommend people go vegetarian when they're severely ill, but didnt know there was all kinds of medical evidence that correlated with it.


I'm on month 4 of being a vegetarian and am REALLY enjoying it. I'm currently at the weight and in the shape I was in when I used to do modeling. But back then I had to work really hard at the gym and count calories. Now I've simply cut out meat and try to stay away from processed foods as much as possible (which is easy because I have no desire to put it in my body after all that) and exercise at least 20 minutes a day, which might even be a walk around the block before going to bed on busy days- just enough to get my circulation and lymph system going (which is important too). I make it a point to eat at least half my meals raw (the book "Raw Food, Real World" is AWESOME if you are considering going raw or increasing raw fodos in your diets- it has 100 raw recipes), and I try to eat vegan when possible, but I'm neither a raw foodie or vegan, just vegetarian. And I eat as much as I want to and whenever I want to.

I feel healthier than ever, have more energy, more flexibility, my body is producing just as much muscle, and have even more inner-peace. :-D As I documented in the last entry, I felt a huge shift in regards to fear after about a month of of being vegetarian and realized it was because I was no longer putting into my body the fear and stress energy/chemicals that animals release when they are about to be killed and go into "fight or flight." Oh and during the last year I had experienced Kundalini Syndrome symptoms from time to time and that all has disappeared. Again if you are on a spiritual path, your physical body has to be able to handle all the energy you receive when you meditate! Thats one of the main reasons for the existence of yoga.

Also, if you believe in karma, going veg also gives you a great karmic boost. You reap what you sow... Of course everyone is free to eat animals. BUT if you CHOOSE to show mercy on the animal kingdom, then mercy is shown upon you. You get what you give. In Pranic Healing we're taught that when we're doing healings on people with severe ailments, we should advise for them to go veg so they can increase the mercy they receive. Law of Mercy-"Blessed are the merciful; for they shall obtain mercy." And of course you are helping the environment on top of that. :-D It was the BP oil spill that triggered this shift in my life. I felt bad for the animals and realized that was pretty hypocritical since the # of animals killed by the oil spill were minimal compared to the estimated 9 million animals killed every HOUR so people can eat them. I immediately realized how out of integrity with myself I had been living in that area and decided to go vegetarian. I felt a huge burden just kind of lift off me immediately and miraculously I havent looked back once. Miraculous because I'd always been a meat and potatoes girl and strongly disliked the taste of all vegetables (I used to instanteously gag when I'd put any in my mouth and had considered hypnosis for it). So I'm still pretty amazed by this shift. ;-) And so I wanted to share with my readers. :-D You really can do anything.

Sending positive energy and lots of health your way!
J

Insight On Why Negative Situations Occur and On Finding Your Sense of Safety

Sometimes you have to go through things in the physical world, so that you can let go of your fear of death & God.

Insight from my meditation (i.e. My Conversations with God):

"Every negative experience you went through in the physical world was so that you could compare it to the spiritual world & realize that you can find solace & feel even safer in the spiritual world, that you had feared for so much of your life, than at times in the physical. Notice how safe you feel during meditation. See?? You’ve seen this and learned this. Now you are receiving everything you’ve asked for in the physical world. Have it and enjoy it.

But don’t forget where your real sense of safety comes from. From within. From Me. You never felt safe as a child. Adults often caused you even more fear rather than making you feel safe, telling you every possible thing that could go wrong and telling you scary stories. Cops made you feel threatened, doctors scared. So realize your sense of safety has never been dependent on other people. Your sense of safety comes from Me. From knowing that where ever you are, God is. From knowing that I’m inside you, keeping you safe. Anytime you tap into me inside you, and acknowledge your Oneness with me, you are safe. Always. And this is where your sense of safety comes from. I had you experience those negative periods so that you could feel this Truth. When the things around you seemed to fall apart, you were always able to find peace and safety in meditation, in the spiritual world, in Me. You know this now. You are now receiving all the physical things you’ve asked for. All the beautiful things that you’ve wanted in the physical world. And u may now enjoy them on a whole new level because now u know how to feel safe, tap into your sense of safety, and truly enjoy the physical gifts you receive, without fear robbing you of your joy and freedom.

You can now live fully, knowing that you are safe, taken care of, loved, and supported. Live! You are here to serve your Divine Purpose and you are also here to enjoy yourself and this life I have gifted you with. Know that you are loved and safe. I am always with you."

Ah, you cant even imagine how great I felt after that amazing meditation. Old fears just seriously lifted. And throughout the week I was shown it was applicable to EVERYTHING. Anything you are yearning for- safety, support, love, wealth, joy- if u feel are lacking it in the physical world, its often so you can realize your true source.

Later that week I experienced a VERY unusual situation out of nowhere, where I felt I lacked support from someone I care about. As I fought back tears, I immediately heard, "Where does your true support come from, J? Who has always supported you? Has it not been God who has always supported you in everything you've chosen? Who has created opportunities for you out of thin air & made unimaginable miracles happen for you? So why are u seeking your support in the physical world and so bent on receiving it?"

I affirmed that my support comes from God. The tears and sadness immediately lifted and I felt great and so strong and peaceful. I heard, “That strange little event was just to show you you’ve never been dependent on people in the physical world for your support. The miracles you’ve received throughout your life were out of the control of the people who love you in the physical world. God and the Universe have always supported you and made things happen for you. You don’t NEED more support than that.”

And it kept happening with different things. Each time I affirmed where the desired thing really came from, peace filled me, and the situation shifted immediately. :-)

That’s all!

Oh wait, as an aside, I've decided that this major release of fear was also tied to going vegetarian. I believe the fact I'm no longer putting into my body the fight or flight chemicals/toxins/energy that animals release when they're about to be killed, has allowed me to reach deeper levels of peace. This didnt even occur to me until a couple weeks later but I thought it was a cool side effect. :-D

Meditative Insight: Stop Judging Yourself

Another entry from my meditation journal:

People say that if you really want to learn something u should teach it, and I saw the truth of that play out tonight. Yesterday I was teaching people that if they are trying to let go of something, like a habit, addiction, pattern, it helps to drop the guilt, shame, & judgment around it because those things only hurt you and build more energy around the issue, getting you even more stuck.

Then tonight I was doing a quick little 5 minute visualization on happy memories, and randomly this scene from over a year ago w/a guy I don’t know that well, but had liked, popped into my head. I wondered what the heck he was doing in my meditation and did a little “I now turn from my intellect to my intuition to tune into the energy here and receive intuitive wisdom,” to see what was going on. Immediately fear jumped at me (big contrast to the huge happiness vibration I had going). Fear that I wasn’t good enough for him (WHAT???!!!). Because I view him as very fearless and courageous, which I saw as a big contrast to myself, and was scared for him to get to know me because then he would see what a scaredy cat I am and wouldn't like me, on top of pointing it out to me. His fearlessness would totally expose my cowardice. The minute he’d take me camping and see me freak out over a snake, bear, or big spider, he’d know I couldn’t hang. Now, I know way better than to think some man would look at me and decide that I just lack way too much courage for him and so I’m not good enough for him (particularly if I’m in a meditative state- I'm quite wise then). So immediately I thought, that’s not what he thinks about me- I’m projecting. That’s what I think about me!! OMG, I think I suck because of fears I haven’t been able to let go of yet. Oh wow. I’m obviously subconsciously ashamed of myself. I’m holding shame in regards to fear. Okay. Let’s release. “I now release any judgment against myself tied to any fears I hold. I’m human and I forgive myself.” And immense energy started clearing. “With the help of God, I now release ANY conscious or subconscious feelings of shame, guilt, self-hate, anger and/or resentment towards myself for being scared of certain things.” And my body went CRAZY. Waves of energy moved through me and out of me (always awesome). Particularly resentment towards self from my spleen.

“Just like you have no business judging others, you have no business judging yourself. There needs to be no judgment about u holding a fear. It just IS, until you are ready to release it. End of story. That's all there is to it. You’re human and it’s okay for you to have fears as long as you’re growing. Remember 6 months ago when that really advanced healer told you that she was also so scared of seeing, that she refuses to sleep by herself? That was a message to let you know that it’s OKAY. If an older healer, that's more mature than you, and has been doing this for way longer, still holds such fears, then obviously it’s okay for you to feel them too, and is nothing to feel ashamed or bad about. That guy did NOT care. Trust me, that was the last thing on his mind. Do you know how many amazing qualities you possess that would have completely overshadowed your random human fears? Love and accept every aspect of yourself, including your human weaknesses. They’re beautiful and allow you to grow. And any person who does judge you for them isn’t good enough for YOU due to their lack of essential qualities, like compassion and understanding."

Release, release, release. Bliss.

Wow I feel so much lighter. Had no idea I was holding that stuff. I mean I know I hold certain fears when they get triggered and I feel the stress, but didn’t realize the secondary feelings being held about those fears.

LOL, and there’s some awesome guy out there who has no idea that I didn’t want to get to know him better solely because I had subconsciously decided he’d want nothing to do with me because I’m afraid of roaches and heights. Funny how much goes on behind a simple interaction.

*End of Entry*

But I wanted to add a quote from an e-mail I randomly received from my mentor a few weeks later, "What if you absolutely honor the Light that you are now? What would happen if instead of reaching or shunning your Light you accepted where you are right now?"

One of the Quickest, Easiest Ways to Boost Faith

Go outside.

Seriously.

I mean the more "naturey" the better, but really a quick walk in the park (preferably at sunset or sunrise) is usually enough.

I personally feel that the quickest way to obtain a faith-boost is to spend time in nature. I find it impossible to doubt the existence of God when I'm in the presence of nature. When I start focusing on the precision and beauty of every tree, every leaf, every blade of grass, the beauty of the sky, the clouds, the majestic trees, the singing birds, the sun who can touch my skin from a ridiculous amount of miles away, the air that fills my lungs, how it all comes together, I can't even fathom questioning whether there is a God. How could it have all come together so perfectly? I'm usually overwhelmed with gratitude for all of it and all the beauty. It's also a great reminder of how abundant the Universe is.... I'd love to conduct a study on how many people who spend lots of time in nature are atheist. I have a feeling the #s would be low.

So if you feel your faith dwindling or doubt creeping in, go take a walk outside.

And to go with that, I'd love to share a beautiful clip of Agape's choir capturing this message by singing "The Color Purple." BTW, Agape's choir is amazing if you didnt know. I absolutely LOVED this performance and saw a few people moved to tears:

On Finding Love Within a Time Frame.........

Hello! Whew, I've been MIA for a minute! My apologies. The last few months have brought a lot of shifts for me and my focus has been more on my own process,and therefore my writing has been more personal and not as "bloggable." Not because of me, being that I'm a strong proponent that experiences are meant to be shared if someone may benefit or learn from them, but I'm much more careful if they also involve other people. My rule of thumb is that if there is a chance it might hurt someone's feelings, then it should stay in my personal journal. :-) So my focus has been more on private journaling rather than blogging. Anyhow, I wanted to sit down today and transfer over some notes from the last few months and maybe write a couple of new entries. I'm going to try to make up for the last few months so if you're subscribed, you might get a few updates all at one time. :-D

I wanted to start by transferring over this advice I "channeled" while talking to a friend on the phone because a lot of clients and other friends have found it useful. So I thought it was worth sharing.

A friend, who had just broken up with a short-lived boyfriend, was panicking about about getting older and not having found a husband yet. I asked her, "Wait, do you HONESTLY want to get married already?" (which I KNEW she didn't because I know her well and know that if she won 20 million dollars in the lotto tomorrow, and had the freedom to do ANYTHING she wanted, the last thing she would want would be a boyfriend. BTW, I think that's a great way to measure whether you really want a bf/gf). She immediately replied, "No!!! I want to get married in like 3 years. But that means I now only have 3 years to find him and at this rate, I'm freaking out about how that's not going to happen because it's SO hard to find someone!"

The response that immediately flowed from my mouth:
“Stop. Finding love is NOT hard. Finding someone to fall in love with is really NOT difficult. That would make no sense when love is all that really exists. Love is everywhere. Its your natural state of bein...g. Finding true love is fully dependent on how loving you choose to be. You know love comes from inside you and you get what you give. If you choose to be loving towards others, then finding romantic love is the most natural thing. After all, God is in every human being. Every human being is lovable and deserves love. So there is absolutely NO reason that finding romantic love should be difficult, aside from YOU choosing to not be loving and to not see God in others. In this world that was made OUT of love, FROM love (God is love and by definition He’s the Primal Source of everything, so the world, and you, had to be made from His essence/substance), where everyone is One and made from the same thing, and where the God that you so love much is in EVERYBODY, as long as you allow yourself to BE loving and allow yourself to see God in other humans, then finding love should be the easiest process in the world. So don’t worry, when you’re ready and you get there, you’ll find love IMMEDIATELY. This is really a non-issue. Next."

I loved it and wrote it down immediately. :-D