Friday, December 11, 2009

How To Forgive Others and Take Back Your Power

I've blogged about forgiving before, but it's been about a year and it's such an important topic... I recently wrote a more thorough article listing more free resources and so I'd like to share those resources with my blog readers:

Forgiving is crucial to happiness. Until you forgive someone, they retain control over your emotions, your life, and even your physical health. That's too much power to give anyone, particularly someone you don't like to begin with. Medical studies show the detrimental effects that anger and stress can have on your physical health, so any anger you are harboring affects YOU much more than it affects the person you are angry or resentful towards. This article will show you how to forgive in order to set yourself free from the past, and from the control of others. Following the steps below will help you forgive, even in the most difficult situations.

Steps for Forgiving:

1) Make a list of anyone you feel you need to forgive, or anyone you are holding anger or resentment towards- whether or not you feel ready to forgive them.

2) If there are people you believe are not worthy of your forgiveness or who did "unforgivable" things, realize that forgiving doesn't mean you now have to be best friends with that person or that you have to hang out with them. It just means you are letting go of the anger and making a choice to no longer be emotionally tied to that person and to take back the power they are currently holding over you. Remember you are doing yourself a favor rather than doing the other person a favor. When you are indifferent towards someone, they will no longer have power over you. When you intellectually understand forgiveness, it makes it easier to forgive on an emotional level. That's what this step is about.

3) Decide which person you would like to work on forgiving first. You should work on one person at a time. Set an intention to forgive the first person. For example, "I am willing to forgive _________ and I WILL forgive __________ and set myself free." You are now more than halfway there.

4) The internet has many free resources for those wishing to forgive. Visit The Work website and download the free "Judge Your Neighbor" Worksheet along with the "Instructions for Doing the Work" Worksheet. Follow the directions and genuinely do the exercises. The Work is very popular in the healing/counseling community for its effectiveness. Once on the site just scroll down to the "Downloads" section on the side. Link to the site:

5) Radical Forgiveness is another popular program that has free resources on its site for those working on forgiveness. This site has recently started requiring users to register in order to access their worksheets, but the registration only takes a minute and is fully worth the free resources you will then be able to access. Once you are logged in, click on "New Radical Forgiveness Worksheet" and then click on the "Open" link next to the worksheet. Honestly complete this worksheet, which is known to bring dramatic results. Link to the site:

6) Practice Meditation Twin Hearts (also known as the Planetary Meditation for Peace) regularly. This meditation helps you subconsciously forgive everyone you need to forgive, so it's a great tool for those that don't feel like they're quite ready to forgive. This is an easy tool because all you need to do is press play and relax. The meditation is under 30 minutes and brings the added benefits that meditation brings such as filling you with peace, increasing your emotional stability, and improving your physical health. You should aim to do it 3 times a week while working on forgiveness. Link to the free meditation:

7) Wear a Rose Quartz pendant, or a green crystal pendant if you are a man and wearing pink isn't your thing. The energy emitted by a Rose Quartz promotes compassion and forgiveness. Wearing a Rose Quartz over your heart can accelerate the speed of forgiveness and fill you with peaceful energy. Green crystals emit green energy, which disintegrates negative emotions, like anger. Here is the link to my crystal website and to the Rose Quartz in particular. Definitely feel free to contact me if you have any questions:

8) Visualization. Visualize the person you are forgiving directly in front of you. Look them in the eye and say, "We all make mistakes and we're all growing. You did the best you could with where you were at personally in your life. I now forgive you and set myself free." Visualize a cord going from their solar plexus (soft spot between your ribs) to yours. Karate chop it 3 times with conviction while saying "Cut, cut, cut!" Then say, "You are now released and no longer have any power over me or my happiness." This is a variation of a Pranic Healing technique.

9) Before the speech in step 8, if you feel there is stuff you really need to get off your chest, then say it to them while you are visualizing them before you. Then proceed, to the rest of the instructions in step 8.

10) Once you have forgiven the person, check them off, and move on to the next person on your list and start again. The more you forgive, the easier it becomes.

You will know you have fully forgiven someone when you are genuinely indifferent toward them. You may find forgiveness before reaching the 10th step. Every experience and every person is different. This is meant to be a comprehensive list. Explore these techniques and find which one works best for you. And at all times remember to be patient with yourself. Forgiving can be a challenging process. Just focus on progress and you will eventually reach your goal and take back your power.

Friday, December 4, 2009

MY MIRACLE SOLUTION FOR STRESS- And Just About Everything Else

Medical studies show that stress can kill you. I’m a lawyer by trade. I attended one of the most, if not the most, competitive law schools in the world. I've worked at a corporate law firm that represents the big entertainment corporations. I know stress quite well.

Awhile back I realized I had a gift for healing people through energy. That realization sent me on an extensive exploration of the often obscure world of energy healing. I spent months exploring different healing modalities, enrolled in class after class, and read every book I could get my hands on.

I’d now like to report back the best stress relieving tool I've come across while exploring the different secrets of many schools. Salt-water and coffee baths. Ta Da! Please hold any judgment until you try it. It’s the kind of thing that once you try it, you’re sold. I have not had one client who hasn’t loved it or who hasn’t continued to use these baths as part of their personal routine. I personally use them twice a week.

However, salt water/coffee baths are more than just my best stress relief tool, they’re more like my miracle “cure all." Like Robitussin or Ginger Ale for some moms (or maybe "Vivaporu" if you’re Latino). Salt water/coffee baths are effective for just about everything.

If I had a prescription pad, I would “prescribe” salt-water/coffee baths in the same manner campus clinics dispense antibiotics. You had a stressful day in court- salt water/coffee bath. If you're mad at your husband and want to argue with him- take a salt water/coffee bath first before you argue. It saves a lot of drama. If you just had an argument where someone unloaded all kinds of emotional garbage and negative energy on you- salt water/coffee bath. Depression, cramps, anger, worries, trauma- salt water/coffee baths. And they are absolutely amazing for physical ailments as well. I’ve seen miraculous healings from sports injuries, hot flashes, cysts, and even swine flu. They are particularly wonderful for anyone dealing with arthritis since it tends to pull the pain right out. My grandmother found them so effective, she is currently trying to negotiate with her landlord to see if he would be willing to install a bathtub in her current “shower-only” bathroom.

Why do they work so well?

I ran into this miracle solution in Pranic Healing, an ancient Chinese energy medicine modality. We were told about these baths as a way to clear out negative energy from our body- the negative energy our own body produces in the form of negative emotions and illnesses, and the negative energy we absorb (or have thrust upon us) from others. As healers, we often absorb the negative energy of others and negative energy eventually leads to disease. Salt disintegrates negative energy and water absorbs it, hence why the ocean is such a great healer. Coffee has orange prana (i.e. orange energy) and orange energy expels negative energy out of your body. Thus the combination of salt water and coffee culminates in the negative energy in your body being disintegrated, expelled, and absorbed by the salt water. Negative emotions, including stress, are basically negative energy. So while soaking in this bath your stress energy is literally being extracted from your body. Pain and things like cysts are also comprised of negative energy, which explains why salt water baths are also so effective for physical ailments. Plus negative energy left unchecked in your body for long periods can turn into serious physical ailments, so as the negative energy (the source of the illness) is extracted, you also experience the relief of physical symptoms.

Sure as a healer I have many different tricks in my bag to relieve stress. I can always do an energy healing session on myself and pull stress right out. But at the end of a long day, a salt water bath is the easiest option. Also, it’s a trick anyone can employ effectively without being a healer.

So how do you try one of these baths?

You dump in about 26 ounces of salt (a full container)into warm water. Just regular table salt or sea salt will do. Epsom salt is not recommended because it has different properties. After pouring the salt, drop in a 2-3 individual packets of instant coffee. Folgers makes them. The kind that look like tea bags. Then you just soak for 20 minutes. Do not stay in the bath longer than 20 minutes because the bath is so strong that after 20 minutes it starts removing some of your positive energy as well. After 20 minutes, proceed to take your regular shower.

That’s all. Nothing spectacular about the process, only the results. The first time I tried it I was expecting a mess, but there was none.

If you would like to make your baths even more effective, you can set an intention beforehand stating that you intend to release any negative energy, stress energy, and negative emotions in your body into the salt water bath. You can also visualize the energy leaving your body if you like or you can just lay there and let the salt, water, and coffee do their thing.

These baths are by no means a secret. Master Stephen Co openly speaks of them in his Pranic Healing courses and most Pranic Healers recommend these baths. However, much of the general public hasn’t heard of or tried this wonderful tool/remedy and that’s a shame. These baths not only improve your mental and emotional health, but they can add years to your life. They also do wonders for your skin since we all know how much stress ages us.

As people’s stress level continues to rise, and as a result more people become seriously ill, stress reduction techniques are becoming more important. I wanted to do my part to spread one of the most valuable techniques in my toolbox.

*Please note that these baths are not intended to replace conventional medicine, but rather complement it. Individuals with serious physical or psychological conditions should consult licensed health care professionals. If any discomfort or adverse effect is experienced during the bath, you are advised to stop the bath immediately and consult a doctor (had to add this because I had one client make the water too hot and stay in there too long, which led to blood pressure dropping and the person almost fainting).