I really love water. And I really love people. So as one of my New Year's intentions, I'd like to raise $5,000, which is the amount needed to build a new water project, and give people access to one of the most basic needs- clean water.
80% of all diseases in the world are caused by unsafe water and poor sanitation and just a $20 donation buys one person clean, safe water for 2 decades!
In order to raise funds for the well, I'm offering healings. For every $10 donation, I will put your name in a monthly raffle (ex. if you donate $40, you get 4 raffle entries). At the end of every month for the next 3 months, I will choose 4 winners. 2 winners will receive a cleansed, consecrated, and programmed energy crystal ($35 value). The winner can choose whatever crystal they would like from www.powertreasuresonline.com. The other 2 winners will receive a distance energy healing ($180 value).
I will also send positive energy to the list of people who donate ANY amount. I've never had a donate tab on my blog because I look at my blog as a way of being of service and tithing. However, if you have ever wanted to donate to me or find my blog useful, please consider making a donation to this project. Here is the link to the project and where you can make a donation:
100% of all donations go to the water project, none to the organization's administrative costs. All are tax-deductible and you will see where your money went via pictures/GPS coordinates once the project is built.
Above all, you'll be making a huge difference in the life of another human being. Can you imagine not having clean water? I drink tons of water so just the thought of not having water immediately makes my mouth feel dry and causes the emotion of anxiety. And that’s without even thinking about the health aspects. Having access to nearby water also gives women a lot of more freedom and has a positive impact in many ways. Here’s some more info on that:http://www.charitywater.org/whywater/
So, literally with every $20 donation you are giving someone the gift of life and freedom. The website has tons of info and has videos of the projects and so forth: http://www.charitywater.org/media/videos/projects.php
This really means a lot to me and I appreciate every little bit of help. I know sometimes issues can feel overwhelming, but if we pull together we can have a serious impact on many lives. Thank you soooooooo much for your help and generous heart!! May your donations come back to you 100-fold!!
Link to where you can make a donation: http://mycharitywater.org/healingforwater
Tuesday, December 28, 2010
I really love water. And I really love people. So as one of my New Year's intentions, I'd like to raise $5,000, which is the amount needed to build a new water project, and give people access to one of the most basic needs- clean water.
Monday, November 22, 2010
This topic has been coming up a lot lately and it's very important, so I want to address it. Sex is a central part of energy/spirituality and energy/spirituality is a central part of great sex. I’m a little short on time right now, so I’m going to take from things I’ve written lately and give helpful links. I’ll blog more about sexual blocks at a later day, but today I wanted to focus more on how to improve your sex life, and in turn, your spirituality. Sexual energy is crucial in the development of spirituality, and spirituality/energy work takes sex to whole other levels. This blog can be relevant even for those who are abstinent because you still have sexual energy that you can transmute and can derive benefits from. And you can learn to do everything below while being abstinent.
Today, I was in a discussion about the “elusive female orgasm.” But the female orgasm is really not elusive. The average statistics state that only about 30% of women orgasm from just intercourse alone. Some scientists believe that women can’t have an orgasm without clitoral stimulation period, and say the women who do have orgasms during intercourse are able to do so because anatomically these women have a short distance between their clitoris and vaginal opening, which causes clitoral stimulation during intercourse.
However, most women who practice Taoism or Tantra in their sex lives will likely tell you that’s not true. You are actually able to orgasm without even being physically touched. People commonly do so while practicing Tantric Fire Breathing. Anyone can learn how to do this, and experiencing it can bring a powerful perspective shift when it comes to the female orgasm, as it becomes clear that it’s not all that elusive.
You can check out Barbara Carrellas, the author of “Urban Tantra” doing so on the tv show Strange Sex, while scientist scan her brain to make sure the orgasm is legit: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qeMMRAwBXE8. And speaking more about it on CNN: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=afYVK4GTKGk Barbara offers workshops, and you can check out her books and work at: http://www.barbaracarrellas.com/
I think it’s worthwhile for every woman to learn how to not only do this, but to become multi-orgasmic and have full body orgasms. Otherwise, you’re missing out on the amazing possibilities that your body is holding. There’s absolutely nothing wrong with clitoral orgasms, but they’re short and not half as intense as a full body orgasm. When it comes to sexuality, I recommend to clients (and myself apply) Master Chia’s Universal Tao practices. Practicing his exercises leads to being multi-orgasmic and having “beyond orgasms.”
Plus these exercises make you a better lover. I was introduced to his work when I was in the process of becoming a Reiki Master. In order to become a Reiki Master you have to be able to hold a Kegel for a long time (about 4-5 minutes). And Master Chia’s exercises help you get there fast without you even noticing. Also through this practice, on top of being really good at sex, you can actually heal your partner through sex- like the song. Anyone can be a sexual healer.
Here’s his basic book for women (and the website has free lessons):
The male version of the book teaches men how to “go all night.” It teaches the basic practice of having orgasms without ejaculating, which allows men to keep going during sex. This is a great skill to have being that I just read that the average male ejaculates within 2-6 minutes of starting intercourse. Master Chia also teaches men how to have full body orgasms and how be multi-orgasmic.
Here is that book:
Definitely go slow and heed all the cautions in these books. Kundalini Syndrome isn’t fun. It might help to take a Kundalini yoga class at the same time or take a workshop. Oh and I'm not receiving anything from posting these links. Except for the good karma when your sex life improves, which I'll happily accept.
I also just noticed he has books called “Multi-Orgasmic Man” and “Multi-Orgasmic Woman,” I haven’t read those so I can’t recommend them, but I thought I would mention them for anyone who wants to check them out, since the titles make them sound on point.
The rest of my input on this topic is going to be cut and pasted from a note I recently wrote saying that I really wish they would teach this stuff as a sister course to sex education in high schools (where parents could opt their kids in if they want). In the note I detailed the benefits of learning Sexual Alchemy (what Master Chia teaches).
If there is one aspect of spirituality that can make a huge difference in your normal day to day physical life, this would probably be it. And it’s sad that people miss out on it.
I find there’s a big disconnect between women and their bodies/what their bodies can do. On top of the percentage of women who can orgasm from just intercourse being ridiculous, most women don’t even know when they’re the most fertile, that they can move their sacrum w/o moving their hips, how to squeeze their different diaphragms (or that they have multiple diaphragms.), and I have friends who’ve never had an orgasm (period- not just with a guy). There seems to be a disconnect between men and their bodies too. I’ve had a few men look at me like I’m crazy when I’ve informed them they can orgasm w/o ejaculating and therefore have sex much longer. I always thought there were enough pop culture references to this for it to be common knowledge....
While yes, you can argue that being able to derive huge pleasure from sex/your body and have multiple orgasms/”beyond orgasms” will pique kids sexual interest even more, they’re ALREADY going to have interest in sex regardless. And that’s the part that would make the class attractive and make them pay attention. Because who doesn’t want to know how to be really great at sexually pleasing their partner?? But then there’s the other side.
It would be awesome for kids to learn how to transmute sexual energy. That would be SUPER helpful. It’s not good to tell someone to be abstinent but not tell them what to do with their sexual energy that’s going to be there for them to deal with regardless. That causes unhealthy energy blocks. And then guilt if they act upon it (so many women have told me they thought the world was about to end the day they lost their virginity- they thought God was going to punish them). Knowing how to transmute your sexual energy makes being abstinent much easier and increases your creativity. And for those that aren’t abstinent- you can have tons of sex and still transmute the energy to increase your physical health, creativity, spirituality, vitality, youth, so it’s a good skill to have.
Transforming excess energy also helps people not need things like drugs to expend their energy on and decreases emotional turmoil. And, on top of learning to transmute sexual energy, this discipline also teaches people how to form heart connections before having sex and their importance, which could be a pretty big shift in regards to how people treat sex partners and the amount of respect given to each other and what they are doing….. I mean sex has been devalued to a crazy level in our society.
Universal Taoism teaches that mutual respect and love are prerequisites for good sex. And that, “To establish and maintain a good sexual relationship, the energies of both partners must be on the same level. They both must be healthy physically and emotionally, and they must be on the same spiritual level. Then when the two people are together, their energies- physical, emotional, and, finally, spiritual- will unite as one.” (Master Chia). Otherwise, turmoil tends to come about. I think this is a great foundation to give.
Above all, the best aspect to me would be helping people grow up with a healthier view of sex. I rarely come across anyone who doesn’t have emotional issues with sex/related to sex, usually due to unhealthy views (men have JUST as many if not more. And do you know how backwards it is for them to try to NOT be present during sex and think about something else?? That’s always tripped me out). It would be great for people to have a foundation that doesn’t bring dysfunction. And for women to be comfortable with their bodies and know the magic their bodies can bring. You should know your body- you live in it. It’s a great gift, and so is sex. Not only did God invent sex, but he made it the ONLY possible way that the human race could survive. Clearly He saw value in this act. Beause He could have chosen ANY other act to REQUIRE for us to survive (like rubbing noses or dropping an egg in a nest or something).
And also to shift the culture around sex overall… You don’t have to degrade women to have a good orgasm. You can have a “beyond orgasm” that’s 100 times better without any of that stuff. And maybe all this can transfer to healthier marriages and relationships because people develop much stronger sexual (and spiritual) connections and understand the nature of their sexual pleasure better. Your sexual intimacy increases so it’s easier to openly communicate about things. It may also decrease infidelity because sex is on another level with the partner you share a love connection with.
I always recommend checking out Taoist sexual practices to clients in my 10-week program. I really don’t think anyone should be deprived of it, so I wanted to share.
Also, wanted to add that sex can be very important to spirituality because its one of the most basic ways people experience Oneness. Aside from that, being able to transmute sexual energy to your crown can significantly increase your spirituality.
One last thing: You have two creative centers in your body, 1) your throat chakra and 2) sex chakra. One creates words and art, and the other life. And the 2 chakras are connected- a problem in one, affects the other and vice versa. So a healthy sex chakra is important for creativity. And on that note, you were made in the image and likeness of God, and if there's one thing we FOR SURE know God likes to do, it’s create. Make sure you are expressing your creative gifts. As not many things will frustrate u as much as not being able to express them & not many things will bring as much overall happiness as being in flow while creating.
Saturday, November 20, 2010
How to Work With Your Ego & Insights from a Self-Healing on Procrastination, Sabotage, & Competition
Last week I was working on huge project. Suddenly my computer started malfunctioning and not letting me work. To the point I felt like throwing it out the window. And I was about to use it as an excuse to get out of meeting a deadline.
But out of nowhere, it hit me that I had a really long pattern of procrastinating on assignments/projects until last minute and then finding an excuse to ask for an extension or to get out of it. I can remember doing this all the way back to middle school. Nicole and I always joke about “ don't treat this like a paper extension!” Its a joke about how we always get extensions and are like, “Whew! We have two more weeks! Awesome!” and then go play and do everything else and then the night before it’s due again we’re like “Uhoh!!! How did this happen??” And we (used to) do that with everything. Like if we have to be somewhere and are running late but then it gets moved back 2 hours, somehow we’ll mess around and still be running late 2 hours later. (btw, I was very rarely ACTUALLY late, just always waited until last minute).
I decided I needed to go ahead and release this pattern.
I went into meditation and asked what was going on here, and immediately realized that it was my ego doing it. Here’s what I got back: 1) Feelings of unworthiness- which cause self-sabotage, and procrastination is self-sabotage. 2) Fear of own greatness. 3) Fear of not being good enough or smart enough. And it was a crazy set up from my ego, because my ego would procrastinate for those reasons, and to make myself get mad at me, dislike myself, and feel out of control. Looking for self-punishment (that’s what guilt does), perpetuating it further and creating a repeating pattern….
So after knowing what was up, it was time to release all of the above, but I needed to get my ego to cooperate because I could feel it was holding on tight.
Here are some blurbs/insights from my journal written right after releasing.
-ON GETTING THE EGO TO SUBMIT:
With all this talk over the last few days about Christ teaching to “Love them until THEY submit,” I was thinking about one the most applicable situations… Your ego. NEVER wage war on your ego, as tempting as it might be. Don’t get mad at it and lose your temper or try to scare it with threats. That’s what it was trying to get you to do. It wants you to get mad at it so then it can play the victim and go into self-pity. “Ah, I cant believe I did that. I’m a terrible person with no self-control. Ah, I’m so mad at myself. Why don’t I have more strength? What’s wrong with me? etc.” Plus with more self-h*te and anger towards yourself, you’ll be weaker. Instead, love it into submission. Send tons of unconditional love to it. Let it know it’s safe. Have a conversation with it. Make a compromise. Tell it the change will just be a trial and if we don’t like it, we can go back to your way. Get it to calm down, to mellow out, and relax for a second, so that you can let go of the negative cords, negative patterns, beliefs, or emotions you want to release and make the changes you want.
Remember to look at your ego as the scared 4 y/o child inside of you. Treat it with understanding and compassion. Comfort it and you’ll get much further. If you make it feel safe and loved, it will be much more cooperative and your inner wars will diminish. If you don't, it will kick and scream and hang on with all its might. And Dr. George Washington Carver’s advice that if you love something enough, it will reveal its secrets to you is very applicable. When you send love to your ego, it will open up to you and reveal its secrets.
So I went with that. Instead of yelling at my ego, I sent it tons and tons of unconditional love and said, “Don’t you feel all this unconditional love from God, from the Divine Mother, from me? Don’t you realize that no matter what you’ve done you’re still loved unconditionally? In your opinion you really f’ed up tonight by doing other things instead of working on this, and yet you’re getting more direct unconditional love now than last week before you got yourself in this mess. See?? Calm down.”
And I asked it to please just relax and move aside so we could let go of the old negative patterns that were being held. The ego complied. We had a long talk about its different issues and a lot was released.
MEDITATIVE CONCLUSION FROM THE HEALING:
"Shift your intent/life goal/perspective from trying to be the best at whatever, to loving. Instead of trying to be the best at everything and seeing the world as an endless competition, your focus will be on just to love." My inner voice started saying that and it really helped when it came to releasing the fear of own greatness and the fear of not being the best or not being good enough. The ego was scared to release these things because it thought life might get boring if it wasn’t always trying to compete for something. What would it do? Because it didn’t know anything else. “If you’re not always trying to be the best or have the most, how will I be entertained?” it asked. Loving. That will give you the best life. Cultivate a heart of love as big as the world, as you say at Agape. Love as much as possible, share as much love, build with as many people, build intimacy, be of service, spread joy, find different ways to love. Just love. Love. Create. Life will never be boring. It will be full joy, happiness, expression, and adventure. The ego was also scared to let go of the need/desire to always be the best because it thought if we didn’t care, we would then be bad at things, and it couldn’t deal with that thought (it’s the ego after all). I told it to stop it. That when we let go of that need to be the best, we’ll still be amazing. Because everything will be based in love and that’s always filled with greatness. In fact, all miracles come from love, as do the greatest works. And God, the Divine Mother, Archangel Gabriel, the Holy Angels will be there to work through us, and will work through us more easily because we aren’t in the way. Everything will always be clothed in the greatness of love and God. You can’t go wrong. And the ego calmed down and let go. Of course, this was while asking for the constant help of the Divine Mother’s grace and mercy, compassion and love.
A little more from journal on the fears that came up during the meditation-before the conclusion:
-Fear of not being good enough, not being smart enough. So would rather not do the project/assignment. Or do it with an excuse just in case it’s not good enough. The belief that just me is not good enough was released. Ego said, “People assume we’re smart. I don’t want to prove them wrong. Maybe we’ve just gotten lucky every other time??” I carefully explained, "Ego, you’ve done this a million times before and you’ve done fine every time. Why are you still scared? Do you think you’re going to be less good at it than last time? It works the other way around. You get better with practice. Let go of the need to compete. Let go of the need to be the best. It’s not supposed to be a competition. That’s not what life is about. If it was, then all the people in the rat race wouldn’t be so unhappy after winning the race and constantly needing to find a new race. You know this from experience. Released beliefs of inadequacy and not being enough. With the grace of the Divine Mother.
-Fear of own greatness. I’d always felt a lot of resistance to this concept. Felt impossible to me. But because of the resistance, I knew it had to be present. Particularly since the feelings of unworthiness had been present and this fear comes with a “Who am I to be so great?” There was a serious thickness and feeling of heaviness as it was releasing and I talked to my ego, telling it that it was okay for us to be great and to release whatever this fear was tied to. That lead to releasing a fear of it being lonely at the top. Of people being jealous. Fear that if I’m more successful or get better at things, it will be a bigger challenge to find a romantic love partner (WOW! All those guys who try to play mind tricks saying things like, “wow it must be really hard for someone as awesome as you to find a guy on your level to date. That must suck, ” had crept into my subconscious w/o me noticing! Who would’ve thought?) And in my head I heard the voices of people who tell you to dumb down a little to make men feel more secure. I told my Ego that we believe in soul mates, remember? So that stuff is irrelevant. And reminded it, “If you believe in soul mates and you’re still waiting for yours, he won’t arrive until you’re willing to be more authentic than you now are in this present moment." You can’t attract your perfect match if you aren’t even being who you truly are. So releasing fears that keep us caged in or restrained will be much more helpful than trying to be small. And because you actually really love people, they love you back. You will never be lonely- top or bottom. “Who am I to be so great?” left easily due to my strong feeling of Oneness with God. You can't refute God's greatness.”
Those were the blurbs. Oh, and my computer started working right afterward and the project went 150% perfect. It exceeded the person’s expectations (though I stayed up for over 48 hours to finish).
Also, wanted to note, because it comes up with clients, when you work through something big, chances are you will re-visit multiple times. Usually going into deeper layers every time. So if you worked out something 2 years ago and then suddenly it pops back up, don’t get upset thinking, “But I thought I let that go already!” You did. But there’s a lot tied to it. You probably let go of a huge portion of it (and certainly noticed the improvements in your life), but now you’re getting rid of more. Rev. Michael often analogizes it to having a super dirty car and washing it. Then you look at the car and notice there’s still a spot there. That spot has been there the whole time, but because the entire car was dirty, it blended in. Now that the car is clean, you notice the spot and some fixate on it like, “WTH?!” Just note it’s normal. Especially with big, normal themes. Don’t trip. The above is a great example of this. Most of the above wasn’t new and it’s healing 101. But while a lot of that stuff had been released, I needed a shift in worldview in order to evolve even more and the stuff that was still there helped me go back in and shift.
Friday, November 5, 2010
If you are looking for a way to celebrate or want to learn more about this beautiful Indian festival, Master Stephen Co posted a great live stream today explaining the spiritual aspects of Diwali. The video also includes a cleansing of energy and he leads you through chanting and a meditation specifically for Diwali. Oh and he energizes your prosperity chakra. So, I thought I'd share!
Saturday, October 9, 2010
The exercise immediately brought an old, pretty private, journal entry to mind and I thought I’d start there since it shows what the exercise is for and the place where I used to be back then, and know from experience a lot of people are there. Then I'm going to talk about my experience last night, followed by instructions for the exercise (so you can scroll freely). I wrote this journal entry at the very beginning of my “Dark Night” when I was 24 (I'm 28 now) and I’m sharing (unedited) because I think that’s why entries and experiences like these come through:
The depths of my soul can be really scary to explore. If on the surface I seem complex, then I don’t think there is even a word to describe what’s underneath.
I have a happy disposition towards life but can be prone to sadness at times. Sadness usually takes over me when I’ve let myself down or am not happy with something about myself. Or when things are out of my control.
I learned early on how to thwart such sadness. Any time I feel myself plunging into such a state, I like to pull out a journal and start analyzing what about me I’m not happy with and start listing all the areas of myself I’d like to improve. From character, to sense of humor, to education, to new talents, to the physical. I make my list and then write out the steps I will take to get there. After this exercise, I always feel much better. Even if my original state of sadness had nothing to do with myself. Just gaining control over something and having a plan for improving it makes me feel better. I’ve been doing it for years. It’s almost an obsession with bettering myself and striving for perfection. And as long as I think that I’m going to be a better person in the future, then I feel better.
Today I found myself plunging into a deep state of sadness. Because of a small, insignificant event. Someone I care about slighted me. I felt negative feelings rising up within me. A strong dislike for him growing.
I plunged further and locked myself up in the bathroom, bursting into tears.
For no reason really.
Except an insignificant guy.
I glanced in the bathroom mirror and tried to focus on my new perfect teeth. I never got to go to the dentist as a kid due to lack of money. As a result I never got the braces I needed and I had chipped teeth from the playground days that had never been fixed. Upon graduation from law school, I worked with a dentist to try to correct all the problems. My teeth are finally fully corrected. So I stared at them. Trying to smile and focusing on how much better they looked. They’re perfect. But instead I found myself staring at the new sun spots and freckles on my face. I’ve been in the sun way too much.
I stared at myself and felt ugly.
Maybe if I get more beautiful……
I reminded myself that I now had enough money get sunspots and freckles lasered off if they really bothered me. “Its not a big deal J. They’ll be gone in a few months if you want. Make up can fully cover them til then. It’s not a big deal. You can call a doctor tomorrow.”
Maybe once I get the freckles and sun damage removed……..
I moved on to my hair. It’s not as long and full as I’d like. “You can get fancy hair extensions too. The bonded kind that don’t mess up your real hair. The kind that your industry friends have.”
“And you can get the pretty eyelash extensions that all your friends are getting as well. Those make everyone’s eyes look beautiful.”
Maybe when I get rid of my freckles, get hair and eye lash extensions….
That would be major improvements. I’ll definitely be prettier.
But that’s not enough. It wouldn’t be enough. What else? I stared more intently into the mirror.
Maybe if I lifted weights every day and lost the 10 lbs I’ve gained….
But before I gained the 10 lbs, that still wasn’t enough. So I know that losing 10 lbs won’t make me feel much better. That’s something that I need to do. But wouldn’t make a difference in me.
Suddenly my mind flashed back to our tour guide in Venezuela who had offered us “Health and Tourism” packages. He said he could take us to the Miss Universe surgeon as part of a tour package and we could get whatever done.
Maybe if I went back to Venezuela and came back looking like Miss Universe….
Would that be enough?
Suddenly I remembered that my most beautiful friends tend to be the ones with the major psychological problems and drug addictions, and that maybe I should focus more on improving my mind or internal things.
Maybe if I accomplish more……
Maybe once I get my first book published…..
Maybe once I get good at photography and get an exhibit going…..
Maybe when I travel the whole world…..
Maybe once I fully brush up on my history and philosophy…. When I can remember off the top of my head what Kant said, what Nietzsche said, what Aristotle said…..
Maybe once I learn to speak Portuguese and Italian. Then I’ll speak 5 languages…. That’s impressive.
Maybe if I learn to play the piano.
Maybe if I learned how to cook more dishes. International ones.
Maybe if I go back to Shao-Lin and finally get my black belt.
Maybe if I can get to the point where I never have a negative thought about anyone.
Maybe when I’m perfect.
Who am I trying to be perfect for?
I never even meet men that I really like like that. One of my deep fears is that I’m never going to find anyone that I like enough to fall in love with.
So for what then? For who?
Do I need to do all that to love myself?
But don’t I already love myself????
I mean there is no one I’d rather spend time with than myself.
I thoroughly enjoy my own company.
And I am sure that I’ve BEEN past all my insecurities.
And that I fully love and accept myself.
But then who is it that I’m striving to reach some level of perfection for?
Who is it that I’m trying to impress?
Who’s love is it that I’m trying to gain?
And if that someone doesn’t already love me without all said improvements,
Then is that person even worth all this struggle and work for perfection?
And if that person isn’t worth it………
What if that person is me?”
Years after dropping those behaviors, that entry flashed back into my head during an exercise tonight.
I work with the chant “Om Mani Padme Hum” every day. It’s the mantra used to invoke love, mercy and compassion, and has tons of benefits. It brings blessings of love and compassion from God, opens your heart, fills you with love and compassion, it can be used to shower other people with the same, and it has a “wish fulfilling” effect as well. It can be used in different ways, but I’ll talk about how I generally like to use it(actual instructions in section below w/pronunciation). I usually sit and visualize the people/things I’d like to send love to in front of me. I start with the whole earth, then family/friends, people who need love at the moment, anyone I feel upset towards, anyone I like a lot (to open my heart to them), etc. On the “OM” I visualize my heart as a big pink Lotus flower opening up completely, and on the “Mani” I start sending love from my open heart to the person. In between each chant I breathe in the blessings that always start to pour down immediately, being very receptive. Then I chant it again (usually at least 2 times per person/set of people).
This is super helpful for forgiving, particularly for people like me who are always WILLING to forgive people. I always want to forgive and think I do. But chanting “Om Mani Padme Hum” towards someone always lets me know if I’m still holding something because my heart and chest suddenly feel tight and my heart doesn't feel fully open at first.
Well today out of nowhere, I decided to chant it towards myself. I had never thought of doing that before because as the channel of the blessings, you already receive them, so sending the blessings you are already receiving towards yourself seems unnecessary. But for some reason it’s just where my meditation went. And OMG.
I’ve never ever felt my heart get so hard and closed during this chant before. Ever. And I’ve used this chant on just about every person who has ever “wronged” me (serious things like rape included, and of course people like exes included). And my heart hadn’t been half as hard or as closed towards any of them. The second I that realization hit me, I immediately started crying. And the entry above flashed through my head as it sunk in that I was still holding the habit of being harder on myself than on anyone else, and that I don’t tend to treat myself with the same compassion/empathy I treat others. While I do love myself fully it was still easier for me to be more merciful towards others than towards myself. That’s not a fun realization but very true for many people. You tend to be your toughest critic and expect a perfection from yourself that you don't expect from others.
Watching my own heart slowly open up more and more towards myself with every repetition of the chant was kind of crazy. And it caused more tears (but healing tears) as I released all that junk from my heart. In between each chant, I accepted the love and compassion being showered upon me from God, and from myself. It was a very healing and awesome experience. And I’m now adding myself to my “Om Mani Padme Hum” list. It’s totally getting added to my 10-week program as a suggested every day practice starting from day one(hey, you’re getting it for free). Because not only does it open your heart towards others and fill you with peace, love and compassion, but it allows you to be more loving towards yourself and to let go of whatever you are holding against yourself.
1)Sit in a comfortable, quiet place. I like to keep my feet on the ground (helps ground the energy received).
2)If you need help with pronunciation, you can click on this video and go to the 16:10 min mark (this is exactly how I chant it): http://pranichealing.com/stream/urgent-meditation-bless-mexico This practice for me has largely evolved from Pranic Healing practices.
3)Invoke for Divine Blessings and set your intention. You can pray to whoever you’d like, however you are invoking the more feminine aspect of God, so I’d suggest including the Divine Mother in one (or all) of her manifestations, particularly as the Buddha Quan Yin, or as the Virgin Mary (and/or any of her manifestations) if that resonates more with you. And ask for what you want to get out of this (blessing the planet, receive blessings in the form of ___, forgiving, etc.).
4)Place your hands on your lap, opened, palms up. Ready to receive, or release.
5)Close your eyes and visualize yourself standing directly in front of you.
6)Now chant “Om Mani Padme Hum” as you send yourself love and compassion. Start by inhaling in and allowing Divine Energy to enter your crown and flow down to your heart. On the “Om” visualize your heart as a big, Lotus flower opening up completely, and on the “Mani” start sending love from your open heart to yourself (visualize pink light coming out of your heart, project it towards the image of you in front of you and fully covering it). In between each chant, breathe in the blessings that immediately pour down through your crown and allow yourself to receive. Then chant it again as many times as you feel like chanting. I always repeat at least twice for everything. When doing it on yourself for the first time, I’d go with at least 10 times.
7)Before you chant to bless yourself, you can (and I’d suggest) chant to send love to your loved ones/other people. So do everything above, but while visualizing other people.
8)Give thanks for all the blessings, love, compassion, mercy, and whatever you asked for.
A LITTLE EXTRA BACKGROUND INFO ON MY EXPERIENCE, FOR WHOEVER WANTS IT:
Funny, earlier this week I started taking a new course working with the energy of the Divine Feminine because I’m trying to put a big course together and this week I was focusing on the power of receptivity and allowing yourself to receive…. And I majorly picked up one thing from the first class (that was like a side note in the course)- She asked, “When was the last time you allowed yourself to be loved?” And that just really got me. while still sitting in the class I wrote a new affirmation, “I now completely allow myself to be loved.”
LOL, and at the same time, for the last couple of days I’ve had the song, “I really miss your hair on my face, and the way your innocence tastes,” stuck in my head NON-STOP. I had been thinking, “What in the world?? I don’t have anyone I miss! Why is it stuck in my head??” Granted I’m doing choreography to it (chosen by somebody else), but its never been stuck in my head all day long like that- and it was only those two lines. Then last night someone commented on how I attract a lot of men who will do a lot of crazy things for me. And I was about to complain that while I may attract a lot of really extravagant high-profile men/millionaires that other women might love, the nice, more down to earth guys that I’M actually into don’t seem to show much interest in me, but I stopped myself and instead said, “Okay this is a serious pattern. And I’d like to release it. What is in me that keeps attracting this pattern into my life?” I asked before I went to sleep and when I woke up this morning, guess what was the first thing in my head? The two lines above. I sighed in frustration but decided to reach for my iPod and see if there were any clues in it. I didn’t have to go too far…. LOL, the title read, “Better than Me.” The direct line following the 2 lines that were stuck in my head says, “And I think you should know this, you deserve much better than me.”
I thought “Wow. Hmmm…. So…… apparently I think the really nice guys I like deserve better than me. And I attract really high-profile guys that I’m not into like that in order to superficially feed my ego, but not get too involved. Because as I realized earlier this week, I haven’t been too comfortable with allowing myself to be loved. And its apparently tied to guilt I’m holding...”
And THAT would be the consequence of being harder on yourself than others and not showing yourself the same understanding.
That was this morning. Then this exercise happened tonight. Just some background to show how nothing is ever without meaning and how everything always ties together. Make sure you are open to the clues.
Thursday, September 2, 2010
1)Daily Om Courses. I love this service. I guess technically they're not free because they're "donation-based," but you are free to donate just $1. There are some courses on there that they do charge for, but most are just donation-based and they have a lot of cool ones to choose from. They include courses by people like Deepak Chopra and Debbie Ford:
2)Pranic Healing Free Live Video Streams. This is probably the one I use the most. Master Co, one of the most awesome healers I know, live streams free full moon meditations once a month. And then the videos remain on the website so you can go back and re-do it anytime you want. These meditations are WONDERFUL. They're pretty intense, easy to do, bring inner-healing, fill you with peace, develop your chakras (trust me), and increase your good karma. Energy cleansing and healing are also included at the beginning of each meditation. I often return to my favorite meditations throughout the month. Also as a bonus, Master Co frequently live streams free lectures that are open to the general public. In fact, tonight's weekly lecture is open to all. For me its a huge honor to be one of his students:
The two below aren't actually directly related to spirituality, but since I really appreciate them, I'll include them.
3) Did you know you MIT offers its courses for free online??! I was completely amazed when I first found out about this. Its an awesome effort to make quality education accessible to anyone who wants it and has access to a computer. You can take a course on just about any subject, from one of the top schools in the country:
4) Study over 70 different languages- for free. I was just as thrilled when I first found this website. You can dowload a course in just about any language, for free. I think I downloaded 4 different languages the first night I found it. :-D
Wednesday, September 1, 2010
I've been really getting into nutrition lately. Just from my work and study alone, I believe the 2 main things that cause people physical illness are 1) negative emotions and 2) diet, and the two are actually often intertwined. I've spent a lot of time now helping people with emotional health, and so it was time to venture into nutrition. And I've been learning really important things that have honestly surprised me, or at least the fact that they aren't common knowledge has surprised me. My eating habits have drastically changed over the last 4 months and I really wanted to share because food has such a huge impact on your physical body and chakras. And even on your spiritual practices being that your body has to be able to handle the energy during meditation.
PLEASE take the time to educate yourself about what you put into your body. Not just about things like fat (which is what I had worried about in the past since my relationship w/food often revolved around the asthetics of my physical body), but about deadly stuff.
As an example, studies show that corn syrup feeds cancer cells & helps them reproduce. So if you have a cancerous cell or small tumor somewhere that you might have no idea exists (and that your immune system might just blast off on its own), corn syrup gives it food to multiply and spread. That's pretty important. Particularly since corn syrup is present in an estimated 90% of fast food and processed foods (like bread, cereal, chips, soda, junk food, etc.) since corn is subsidized by the government and super cheap.
Here's an article on this information: http://articles.mercola.com/sites/articles/archive/2010/08/27/warning--fructose-feeds-cancer-cells.aspx?aid=CD945
Sounds as dangerous as smoking, right? And like something you should know as you as you decide between reaching for a bowl of raw cashews or some potato chips.. People often wonder why cancer has become so widespread.... Seems like the answers might be in the food people are putting in their bodies.
If you want to find out more about the food you are putting into your bodies, I'd recommend watching Food Inc. (u can watch it on youtube if you'd like). After tons of people telling me I should watch it since I'm into all this stuff, I finally gave in last night. Previously I had just read about the points in the movie and watched interviews because any kind of animal abuse really ruins my mood, and I didnt want to subject myself to it (did you know pigs are smarter than dogs?? And so sweet: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iDtj4uT2eCg ). I sucked it up last night because I saw how many people were changing their eating patterns after watching the movie and because I found myself often recommending it though I hadnt actually watched it. I bypassed my issue by watching the movie during my workout and just turning around and lifting weights whenever I saw they were about to show animals. :-D
Here are the links-
Where you can watch on youtube: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lyagLY1Nem8
Even if this is not your thing, I think you'll appreciate the info in the movie since it touches on so many subjects.
Also another example, though its not mentioned in the movie, are the health stats for meat-eaters. The #1 killer in the U.S. is heart disease and men have a 50% risk of dying from a heart attack (thats one out of two...). The risk drops down 15% for vegetarians and 4% for vegans (from John Robbins Pulitzer-nominated book, "Diet for a New America": http://www.newveg.av.org/realities.htm -Just control F to "heart attack" but plenty of other interesting stats on there). Wow right? The meat and dairy lobbies are pretty strong. This is stuff I didnt know before going vegetarian. I did it purely because I love animals and didnt think my taste palate was enough to justify suffering and killing. But I was impressed by the stats afterward. The stats are also ridiculous when it comes to colon cancer (risk increases by like 300% if u eat meat) and other cancers too. I know that for energetic reasons in Pranic Healing we recommend people go vegetarian when they're severely ill, but didnt know there was all kinds of medical evidence that correlated with it.
I'm on month 4 of being a vegetarian and am REALLY enjoying it. I'm currently at the weight and in the shape I was in when I used to do modeling. But back then I had to work really hard at the gym and count calories. Now I've simply cut out meat and try to stay away from processed foods as much as possible (which is easy because I have no desire to put it in my body after all that) and exercise at least 20 minutes a day, which might even be a walk around the block before going to bed on busy days- just enough to get my circulation and lymph system going (which is important too). I make it a point to eat at least half my meals raw (the book "Raw Food, Real World" is AWESOME if you are considering going raw or increasing raw fodos in your diets- it has 100 raw recipes), and I try to eat vegan when possible, but I'm neither a raw foodie or vegan, just vegetarian. And I eat as much as I want to and whenever I want to.
I feel healthier than ever, have more energy, more flexibility, my body is producing just as much muscle, and have even more inner-peace. :-D As I documented in the last entry, I felt a huge shift in regards to fear after about a month of of being vegetarian and realized it was because I was no longer putting into my body the fear and stress energy/chemicals that animals release when they are about to be killed and go into "fight or flight." Oh and during the last year I had experienced Kundalini Syndrome symptoms from time to time and that all has disappeared. Again if you are on a spiritual path, your physical body has to be able to handle all the energy you receive when you meditate! Thats one of the main reasons for the existence of yoga.
Also, if you believe in karma, going veg also gives you a great karmic boost. You reap what you sow... Of course everyone is free to eat animals. BUT if you CHOOSE to show mercy on the animal kingdom, then mercy is shown upon you. You get what you give. In Pranic Healing we're taught that when we're doing healings on people with severe ailments, we should advise for them to go veg so they can increase the mercy they receive. Law of Mercy-"Blessed are the merciful; for they shall obtain mercy." And of course you are helping the environment on top of that. :-D It was the BP oil spill that triggered this shift in my life. I felt bad for the animals and realized that was pretty hypocritical since the # of animals killed by the oil spill were minimal compared to the estimated 9 million animals killed every HOUR so people can eat them. I immediately realized how out of integrity with myself I had been living in that area and decided to go vegetarian. I felt a huge burden just kind of lift off me immediately and miraculously I havent looked back once. Miraculous because I'd always been a meat and potatoes girl and strongly disliked the taste of all vegetables (I used to instanteously gag when I'd put any in my mouth and had considered hypnosis for it). So I'm still pretty amazed by this shift. ;-) And so I wanted to share with my readers. :-D You really can do anything.
Sending positive energy and lots of health your way!
Friday, August 27, 2010
Sometimes you have to go through things in the physical world, so that you can let go of your fear of death & God.
Insight from my meditation (i.e. My Conversations with God):
"Every negative experience you went through in the physical world was so that you could compare it to the spiritual world & realize that you can find solace & feel even safer in the spiritual world, that you had feared for so much of your life, than at times in the physical. Notice how safe you feel during meditation. See?? You’ve seen this and learned this. Now you are receiving everything you’ve asked for in the physical world. Have it and enjoy it.
But don’t forget where your real sense of safety comes from. From within. From Me. You never felt safe as a child. Adults often caused you even more fear rather than making you feel safe, telling you every possible thing that could go wrong and telling you scary stories. Cops made you feel threatened, doctors scared. So realize your sense of safety has never been dependent on other people. Your sense of safety comes from Me. From knowing that where ever you are, God is. From knowing that I’m inside you, keeping you safe. Anytime you tap into me inside you, and acknowledge your Oneness with me, you are safe. Always. And this is where your sense of safety comes from. I had you experience those negative periods so that you could feel this Truth. When the things around you seemed to fall apart, you were always able to find peace and safety in meditation, in the spiritual world, in Me. You know this now. You are now receiving all the physical things you’ve asked for. All the beautiful things that you’ve wanted in the physical world. And u may now enjoy them on a whole new level because now u know how to feel safe, tap into your sense of safety, and truly enjoy the physical gifts you receive, without fear robbing you of your joy and freedom.
You can now live fully, knowing that you are safe, taken care of, loved, and supported. Live! You are here to serve your Divine Purpose and you are also here to enjoy yourself and this life I have gifted you with. Know that you are loved and safe. I am always with you."
Ah, you cant even imagine how great I felt after that amazing meditation. Old fears just seriously lifted. And throughout the week I was shown it was applicable to EVERYTHING. Anything you are yearning for- safety, support, love, wealth, joy- if u feel are lacking it in the physical world, its often so you can realize your true source.
Later that week I experienced a VERY unusual situation out of nowhere, where I felt I lacked support from someone I care about. As I fought back tears, I immediately heard, "Where does your true support come from, J? Who has always supported you? Has it not been God who has always supported you in everything you've chosen? Who has created opportunities for you out of thin air & made unimaginable miracles happen for you? So why are u seeking your support in the physical world and so bent on receiving it?"
I affirmed that my support comes from God. The tears and sadness immediately lifted and I felt great and so strong and peaceful. I heard, “That strange little event was just to show you you’ve never been dependent on people in the physical world for your support. The miracles you’ve received throughout your life were out of the control of the people who love you in the physical world. God and the Universe have always supported you and made things happen for you. You don’t NEED more support than that.”
And it kept happening with different things. Each time I affirmed where the desired thing really came from, peace filled me, and the situation shifted immediately. :-)
Oh wait, as an aside, I've decided that this major release of fear was also tied to going vegetarian. I believe the fact I'm no longer putting into my body the fight or flight chemicals/toxins/energy that animals release when they're about to be killed, has allowed me to reach deeper levels of peace. This didnt even occur to me until a couple weeks later but I thought it was a cool side effect. :-D
Another entry from my meditation journal:
People say that if you really want to learn something u should teach it, and I saw the truth of that play out tonight. Yesterday I was teaching people that if they are trying to let go of something, like a habit, addiction, pattern, it helps to drop the guilt, shame, & judgment around it because those things only hurt you and build more energy around the issue, getting you even more stuck.
Then tonight I was doing a quick little 5 minute visualization on happy memories, and randomly this scene from over a year ago w/a guy I don’t know that well, but had liked, popped into my head. I wondered what the heck he was doing in my meditation and did a little “I now turn from my intellect to my intuition to tune into the energy here and receive intuitive wisdom,” to see what was going on. Immediately fear jumped at me (big contrast to the huge happiness vibration I had going). Fear that I wasn’t good enough for him (WHAT???!!!). Because I view him as very fearless and courageous, which I saw as a big contrast to myself, and was scared for him to get to know me because then he would see what a scaredy cat I am and wouldn't like me, on top of pointing it out to me. His fearlessness would totally expose my cowardice. The minute he’d take me camping and see me freak out over a snake, bear, or big spider, he’d know I couldn’t hang. Now, I know way better than to think some man would look at me and decide that I just lack way too much courage for him and so I’m not good enough for him (particularly if I’m in a meditative state- I'm quite wise then). So immediately I thought, that’s not what he thinks about me- I’m projecting. That’s what I think about me!! OMG, I think I suck because of fears I haven’t been able to let go of yet. Oh wow. I’m obviously subconsciously ashamed of myself. I’m holding shame in regards to fear. Okay. Let’s release. “I now release any judgment against myself tied to any fears I hold. I’m human and I forgive myself.” And immense energy started clearing. “With the help of God, I now release ANY conscious or subconscious feelings of shame, guilt, self-hate, anger and/or resentment towards myself for being scared of certain things.” And my body went CRAZY. Waves of energy moved through me and out of me (always awesome). Particularly resentment towards self from my spleen.
“Just like you have no business judging others, you have no business judging yourself. There needs to be no judgment about u holding a fear. It just IS, until you are ready to release it. End of story. That's all there is to it. You’re human and it’s okay for you to have fears as long as you’re growing. Remember 6 months ago when that really advanced healer told you that she was also so scared of seeing, that she refuses to sleep by herself? That was a message to let you know that it’s OKAY. If an older healer, that's more mature than you, and has been doing this for way longer, still holds such fears, then obviously it’s okay for you to feel them too, and is nothing to feel ashamed or bad about. That guy did NOT care. Trust me, that was the last thing on his mind. Do you know how many amazing qualities you possess that would have completely overshadowed your random human fears? Love and accept every aspect of yourself, including your human weaknesses. They’re beautiful and allow you to grow. And any person who does judge you for them isn’t good enough for YOU due to their lack of essential qualities, like compassion and understanding."
Release, release, release. Bliss.
Wow I feel so much lighter. Had no idea I was holding that stuff. I mean I know I hold certain fears when they get triggered and I feel the stress, but didn’t realize the secondary feelings being held about those fears.
LOL, and there’s some awesome guy out there who has no idea that I didn’t want to get to know him better solely because I had subconsciously decided he’d want nothing to do with me because I’m afraid of roaches and heights. Funny how much goes on behind a simple interaction.
*End of Entry*
But I wanted to add a quote from an e-mail I randomly received from my mentor a few weeks later, "What if you absolutely honor the Light that you are now? What would happen if instead of reaching or shunning your Light you accepted where you are right now?"
I mean the more "naturey" the better, but really a quick walk in the park (preferably at sunset or sunrise) is usually enough.
I personally feel that the quickest way to obtain a faith-boost is to spend time in nature. I find it impossible to doubt the existence of God when I'm in the presence of nature. When I start focusing on the precision and beauty of every tree, every leaf, every blade of grass, the beauty of the sky, the clouds, the majestic trees, the singing birds, the sun who can touch my skin from a ridiculous amount of miles away, the air that fills my lungs, how it all comes together, I can't even fathom questioning whether there is a God. How could it have all come together so perfectly? I'm usually overwhelmed with gratitude for all of it and all the beauty. It's also a great reminder of how abundant the Universe is.... I'd love to conduct a study on how many people who spend lots of time in nature are atheist. I have a feeling the #s would be low.
So if you feel your faith dwindling or doubt creeping in, go take a walk outside.
And to go with that, I'd love to share a beautiful clip of Agape's choir capturing this message by singing "The Color Purple." BTW, Agape's choir is amazing if you didnt know. I absolutely LOVED this performance and saw a few people moved to tears:
Hello! Whew, I've been MIA for a minute! My apologies. The last few months have brought a lot of shifts for me and my focus has been more on my own process,and therefore my writing has been more personal and not as "bloggable." Not because of me, being that I'm a strong proponent that experiences are meant to be shared if someone may benefit or learn from them, but I'm much more careful if they also involve other people. My rule of thumb is that if there is a chance it might hurt someone's feelings, then it should stay in my personal journal. :-) So my focus has been more on private journaling rather than blogging. Anyhow, I wanted to sit down today and transfer over some notes from the last few months and maybe write a couple of new entries. I'm going to try to make up for the last few months so if you're subscribed, you might get a few updates all at one time. :-D
I wanted to start by transferring over this advice I "channeled" while talking to a friend on the phone because a lot of clients and other friends have found it useful. So I thought it was worth sharing.
A friend, who had just broken up with a short-lived boyfriend, was panicking about about getting older and not having found a husband yet. I asked her, "Wait, do you HONESTLY want to get married already?" (which I KNEW she didn't because I know her well and know that if she won 20 million dollars in the lotto tomorrow, and had the freedom to do ANYTHING she wanted, the last thing she would want would be a boyfriend. BTW, I think that's a great way to measure whether you really want a bf/gf). She immediately replied, "No!!! I want to get married in like 3 years. But that means I now only have 3 years to find him and at this rate, I'm freaking out about how that's not going to happen because it's SO hard to find someone!"
The response that immediately flowed from my mouth:
“Stop. Finding love is NOT hard. Finding someone to fall in love with is really NOT difficult. That would make no sense when love is all that really exists. Love is everywhere. Its your natural state of bein...g. Finding true love is fully dependent on how loving you choose to be. You know love comes from inside you and you get what you give. If you choose to be loving towards others, then finding romantic love is the most natural thing. After all, God is in every human being. Every human being is lovable and deserves love. So there is absolutely NO reason that finding romantic love should be difficult, aside from YOU choosing to not be loving and to not see God in others. In this world that was made OUT of love, FROM love (God is love and by definition He’s the Primal Source of everything, so the world, and you, had to be made from His essence/substance), where everyone is One and made from the same thing, and where the God that you so love much is in EVERYBODY, as long as you allow yourself to BE loving and allow yourself to see God in other humans, then finding love should be the easiest process in the world. So don’t worry, when you’re ready and you get there, you’ll find love IMMEDIATELY. This is really a non-issue. Next."
I loved it and wrote it down immediately. :-D
Thursday, May 6, 2010
How to Conserve Your Energy: 6 Things to Cut From Your Life to Increase Your Energy & Change Your Life
Energy is highly valued in our society. It is essential to our well-being and lives. People buy energy drinks, energy pills, and even drink 2 cups of coffee before work just to have more energy. It's sought after because not only is it associated with vitality and youth, but because we need it to reach our goals! One-pointedness and tunnel-vision are often associated with people who have accomplished great feats in life. If you want to accomplish your goals quickly, you need as much energy as possible directed towards them. So as important as energy is to humans, why are most humans so quick to use up their energy on just about anything?? Most people voice a desire to have more energy, but at the same time are quick to scatter their energy around and throw it away.
The following tips are designed to help you eliminate things in your life that zap your energy, so you can have the energy you need to reach your goals, enjoy more vitality and youthfulness, and actually have the energy to enjoy every moment of your life.
1. STOP JUDGING OTHERS.
When you judge someone your energy is being tied up and used up in negativity and in having negative thoughts, instead of being used in creating, increasing prosperity, or improving the quality of your life. So you're the one who ends up reaping the negative effects rather than the person you are judging. Whatever you focus on grows, so when you focus on the negative, that's what will increase in your life. To help you quit judging, remember that this is YOUR life and YOU are creating it. If you don't like something, why are you bringing it into your personal life by focusing on it and giving it your attention? When you're having thoughts about it, you're now giving it a place to live in your head. You just made it part of your life. If something doesn't resonate with you, just choose to not be interested in it and save your energy for the things that DO resonate with you.
2. STOP WORRYING ABOUT WHAT OTHERS THINK OF YOU.
What other people think about you is really none of your business. Because it's never really about you. Other people's opinions about you are largely based on THEIR beliefs, issues, experiences, and emotions. It has little to do with you to begin with, so spending your energy worrying about what others think or trying to prove yourself to others is silly. Other people's thoughts about you only carry as much power as you give them. If you don't give them power, they have no effect on you. So stop using your energy to empower the negative thoughts of others. In truth, this is YOUR life for YOU to enjoy, so save your energy for enjoying life instead.
3. DROP THE WORRY HABIT.
A ridiculous amount of energy is wasted on worrying. Worrying never helps anyone. On top of tying up your energy so you can't quickly direct it towards finding a solution or formulating a plan of action, your energy is actually being used to energize the negative and help THAT grow. As Dr. Michael Beckwith says, "Anxiety is just you projecting your fears into the future, and worrying is emotionally rehearsing the VERY THING you DON'T want to see happen." So now you're emotionally living it multiple times, though it might never even happen. Kind of crazy, right? So drop the worry habit. Remind yourself that you are actually harming yourself when you worry because you are putting energy behind what you don't want to see happen. Same goes for worrying about others. When you worry about them you are visualizing them as lacking. When someone tells me they're worried about me, I'm the first to say, "Please don't! Don't do me that disservice! Put that energy into thinking about me being happy, successful and knowing what to do instead!" My grandmother is finally cooperating with me and no longer worrying about me every time I jump on a flight. :-D Don't do yourself or your loved ones the disservice of worrying about them, and conserve your energy in the process.
4. LET GO OF THE PAST.
People spend so much energy on re-living the past in their own heads. That same energy could be used to come up with the next great invention, create an artistic masterpiece, or come up with the way to bring world peace. Imagine what brilliant ideas you could come up with and create if you saved all the energy you spend on re-playing your past, regretting your past, worrying about your past, and instead aimed it all towards your next great plan? Now, don't go back and regret the fact you could have been a millionaire by now! The key is to realize that the most important moment is NOW. Who cares about what you did in your past?? It's done. You can't time travel to change it. Instead change your present, which you DO still have the time and power to change. Harness the amount of energy you usually spend re-living things that have already happened, and you will have a lot more energy to fuel your current projects.
5. LET GO OF ANGER AND GRUDGES.
It takes a lot of energy to be angry, to hold a grudge, and to not forgive. While the person may not even remember you or even care that you are mad at them, and is therefore unaffected by your anger, you're the one who is being affected. It takes energy to get all red and raise your voice. It takes energy to remember you are mad, to permanently hold that emotion stored somewhere in your mind so that you can re-experience the anger at any given time- precious energy that could be going towards other things. So forgive and take back your energy. Forgiving doesn't mean that you now have to hang out with the person. It just means you are letting go of the anger and setting yourself free. You are making a choice to no longer be tied to that person and to take back your energy and the power they have over you. When you are angry at someone, they are holding power over your emotions, life, and physical health (anger can kill you- high blood pressure and strokes). That is way too much power to give to someone you don't even like. So forgive, and take back your power and energy.
6. STOP ARGUING YOUR POINT OF VIEW TO ANYONE WHO IS BREATHING.
How much energy do you waste on silly arguments? Always remember that wisdom is very relative. You may currently believe what you are arguing is right, but remember that two years from now you might think just the opposite. There are things you are sure you won't change your mind about, but think back to other things you've had strong convictions about when younger... If you are honest, there are things you felt strongly about and have since changed your mind. That's part of growing up. If you haven't changed your mind about any beliefs, then you are in trouble because that means you aren't growing. Keep all of this in mind when deciding how much energy to expend on random arguments where you are trying to impose your viewpoint (and by the way, trying to impose your point of view on others is a sign that your ego is running your life). It's a sign of maturity to realize that generally more than one point of view is right, and that as you grow up your point of view is sure to change and expand. So choose your battles wisely. It is said that you never really win an argument because even if you win, the other person is now upset they lost. Even though you proved your point, the other person is now angry with you, so what did you really win? A popular strategy is to stop before, or in the middle of an argument, and ask yourself, "Would I rather be right or happy?" If your answer is happy, then stop. Whether the other person believes the sky is blue or not is really not going to affect your life. However, the energy you just spent trying to prove them wrong could have gone to more worthwhile pursuits.
Happy growth and change! Some of these steps may be a little challenging for some, but they are definitely worth mastering, and will change your life. In future entries I intend to post exercises for each of the steps above.
Monday, March 22, 2010
Yesterday’s lesson was on something that I find most people have a challenging time figuring out- how to deal with your emotions in a healthy way.
We all know you shouldn’t suppress emotions. If you do, they then get stuck in your energy body and chakras causing blocks and issues, eventually leading to physical disease. On top of that, when they get stuck in your system, they are then attracting more of the same stuff to you. So if you suppress anger, it gets stuck in your liver and then your energy field is holding anger and therefore attracting more anger to you. Same with distrust, heartache, fear, etc. Not good.
But at the same time many of us on a spiritual path, or even just a well-being path, try to avoid negative emotions like the plague. C’mon be honest, many are scared of negative emotions (hey "the only thing to fear is fear itself" didnt become a popular quote for no reason! People relate to it). We know negative energy attracts more of itself and before you know it you end up wallowing in negativity and things start going wrong and you feel worse and then more things go wrong and so on. When you’re feeling negative emotions you’re vibrating low and blocking your positive desires from manifesting, etc. Oh and since you know you’re “supposed” to feel peace, love, and trust, feeling anger or fear can make you feel like you’re messing up. We know feelings like anger, shame, and fear don’t help us any and we don’t want them! Anger steals your energy and can actually kill you, shame blocks your communication, fear restricts your freedom, and so on and so on. However, since everyone is a work in progress, negative emotions are normal. Just like your physical body has pain as an alert mechanism, your emotional body has negative emotions as its alert mechanism.
So people end up feeling confused in regards to how to deal with negative emotions when they rise. We want to avoid feeling them, but we’re not supposed to suppress them. And in the process of trying to avoid negative emotions many people end up suppressing them because they don’t know what else to do.
I loved Wheeler's guidance on the topic:
In modern psychology it is considered a healthy mark of progress to be in touch with your emotions. For both men and women the courage to feel emotions is but the beginning of the journey towards freedom. Feeling and acknowledging emotions while not solidifying them into one’s identity constitutes how to be an adult in handling their impact.
That’s a total gem right there. PERFECT guidance on the topic. So I’ll write it again on its own.
The key: Feeling and acknowledging emotions while not solidifying them into one’s identity constitutes how to be an adult in handling their impact.
Great, so how do you do that?
He has you observe your emotions in the 3rd person. And it’s actually pretty fun. Feels like giving a play-by-play of your life as its happening or being a narrator.
For the next 3 days, every time you start to feel an emotion or are feeling an emotion, DONT think or say “I'm angry” “I'm scared” “I’m feeling sad,” etc. Instead switch your words and thoughts to "This emotion is anger,” “This emotion is fear,” etc.
And then you just observe it go through you (its really just energy passing through you). Observe how it feels in your body and how it affects your body. Watch its’ effects on you like you’re watching a show. Stay detached.
Really energy should move right through u as long as you don’t identify with it & claim it as your own. It’s just energy passing through you, but when you identify with it by claiming you’re it (i.e. “I’m ___” ), then you’re making it part of you. And Wheeler says at that point you become invested in the emotion and then it doesn’t just pass through you easily. So just let it flow right through you watching it, knowing that it is NOT you. You’re not your emotions. Those are temporary things.
This strategy keeps you from suppressing because you actually identify and acknowledge the emotion rather than pretending it’s not there, but it doesn’t become you. From this detached perspective you’re better able to figure out what the emotion is alerting you to and how you should handle the situation/issue or what changes you need to make (as Rev. Michael says, “If vision doesn’t pull you, pain will push you.”).
My Personal Notes:
Funny that when I was a child, this was actually my strategy for physical pain. I figured out at an early age that if I observed physical pain and tried to figure out what the pain really felt like, its effect on me, and tried to describe it, the pain would decrease a lot. Detachment.
I started doing this exercise last night and am finding it useful and funny. As an example, of its application/effect- right when I started the exercise, I went into the restroom and a huge mosquito flew at me out of nowhere (the big flying spider looking ones). I immediately on reflex felt panic, screamed, jumped, and then stopped and said, “This emotion is fear.” (Identified it as a separate entity). Then noted how my shoulders had gone up, neck tightened, throat made a surprised sound, and a sensation was still traveling through my left lung. All the while the mosquito was still coming at me and I just stared at it and suddenly started laughing. I chose not to kill it or react. I just laughed at the fact that a tiny insect had made that wave of fear travel through my body and in a detached manner asked, “Why the fear?” And thought, “Because I don’t want it to touch me. But how many times has a mosquito touched you before? How many times has a mosquito bitten you in your sleep? Hundreds! And it was nothing. The world didn’t end. You didn’t even feel it. Yes, you think its gross for an insect to touch you, but its happened so many times- does it really warrant that fear? Looks like I've been holding an irrational fear of mosquitos I need to go ahead and release.” And I was just straight laughing at myself while sitting there with Mr. Mosquito. Please note that under normal circumstances I would’ve immediately left the bathroom and used a different one. And if I had been feeling particularly brave, I would’ve killed it (I think its gross to kill insects and try to avoid it). But last night I just chilled with it.
P.S. This exercise wasnt the cathartic part of this lesson for me, though I found it very practical and useful. There was another exercise where you wrote down your relationship to certain emotions and THAT was insight after insight for me- like 6 pages of it with major healing/shifts. Maybe I'll blog about it later.
Saturday, February 20, 2010
I'm going to start by sharing my meditative insight as to why it can be so challenging to hear your heart, and describing the process by which the exercise came about. Then I'm going to share the exercise. I suggest reading the first part, but you are welcome to scroll down for the exercise at any point.
During meditation I felt like sending love and gratitude to the Universe and started radiating it out from my heart. Suddenly I decided to send that love and gratitude from my heart, up to my crown, and through my spiritual cord up to God. The second I started sending it, I felt the energy get stuck in my throat. I imagine that if the love energy my heart was sending to my crown got stuck in my throat, then the messages my heart sends to my brain are likely to have often suffered the same fate.
This is really interesting because the throat chakra (or “Daath”) is the center of intellect and knowledge.
That leads me to think my intellect and the knowledge I’ve acquired from books have often acted as a web where the messages from my heart get stuck and never reach my brain. Which is why it took me so long to be able to hear my heart. I remember the first time I read “The Alchemist” I was so frustrated because no matter how hard I tried, I couldn’t hear ANYTHING from my heart. And I’d always considered myself to be an “intellectual.” Click. We need to bypass some of our intellectual blocks to listen to our hearts more freely.
Anyhow, I wanted to share that observation because I found it interesting. Also that led to a good exercise.
When the love from my heart got stuck in my throat, I didn’t give up. I started sending my throat love instead. Filling it with the energy of love and embracing it. Healing it with the love energy from my heart and saying a few times in my head, “My throat is now cleared, healed, and healthy.”
Then I went back to sending love up through my crown and it didn’t get stuck! It went up all the way up through my head. It was kind of intense and human fear started to creep in a little due to the head rush and the feeling really light (I thought, “what if I’m accidentally making all my blood rush to my head with this exercise??”).
So I started to feel my left kidney clear. My left kidney has been clearing all week. And yes, it feels crazy, in case you are wondering. I’m used to feeling my throat clearing. That was weird when it first started happening but I got used to it. I once canceled a date because my throat was clearing and releasing all kinds of old energy and didn’t feel right about hanging out with this guy while my throat was shooting off negative energy (that was a fun conversation. Thank God the men I attract are very open minded). But I’ve NEVER felt my kidney clear before and its been pretty weird to walk around feeling an organ I usually have zero awareness of, functioning and processing. BUT I’m happy because that must mean I’m making leaps and bounds in releasing old fears.
Anyhow, when I felt my kidney clearing, I started doing the same thing I did to my throat, to my kidney. I started sending love from my heart down to my left kidney and visualizing my kidney being completely surrounded and filled with that love energy. And saying in my head, “I love you kidney” while sending it my love (hey laugh all you want. But people who’ve needed kidney transplants have been healed w/exercises where they start appreciating their kidneys. I’m appreciating my kidney because even though its perfectly healthy on the physical level, it had fear blocks on the emotional level and you want to handle that before it ever turns into a physical block). Then I started saying, “My left kidney is now cleared, healed, and healthy.”
During this process I started feeling my spleen heat up and process a little too. So I repeated the steps above for my spleen (likely released some resentment tied to fears of my own emotions, which is what was processing in my left kidney. Which makes sense cause who knows how many people I ended up resenting over my own fear of getting hurt?). It was a fun and beneficial exercise and felt very powerful to me. So, here it is- an exercise to help you clear the path for messages from your heart and to help you self-heal other organs.
1) Lay down somewhere comfortable and quiet.
2) Put yourself in a relaxed/meditative state. You can do this by taking deep slow inhales and exhales (see last blog entry).
3) After you feel your body relax, on your deep inhales feel/visualize all the love energy in your heart being gathered up and concentrated into the middle of your heart. Then on your exhale send all that love/gratitude energy from your heart up through your throat and to your crown chakra (right at the top of your head), out to God/the Universe. If you aren’t sure how to “send” this energy, you can will it to go up, intend to send it up, or visualize it going up. You can visualize it as a cloud of pink energy (and I personally like to say “Thank you God. Thank you for everything” while I do this. But optional. Chant what feels right to you). Do this at least 3 times. But as many times as you like.
4) If you feel the energy get stuck in your throat, repeat the instructions in step 3, but sending the energy to your throat instead. As you’re sending the energy of love to your throat, you can use, “I love my throat” (or I love you throat) as a mantra. Repeat at least 3 times. Then use the mantra, “My throat is now cleared, healed, and healthy,” for 3 breathing cycles.
5) If you did Step 4, go back to Step 3 and see if the energy goes through. Do as many times as needed.
6) Repeat Step 4 for any of your own “problem” organs, charkas, or spots, one by one (you can even send it to anywhere you feel tension/pain). Each time visualize your organ being healed by the love energy your heart is sending it. Love energy is one of the most healing energies in the world and you have it inside you. Use it. :-)
Thursday, February 18, 2010
I just had one of those out of this world, room-spinning type of experiences. Will do my best to try to express it on paper. It was better than going into the light (at least for me).
Every time I go to the Agape bookstore a book by the check out counter called, “When Your Voice is Authentic You Don’t Have to Yell,” catches my attention. I just really like the title. So like a year later, I just finally bought it.
I started it today and just did the first exercise. And its what led to the incredible experience.
So the exercise has you lay down and get comfortable. Focus your attention on your heart and then do “Conscious Breathing” for 3 cycles (inhale for 9 counts, hold for 9 counts, exhale for 9 counts). Then go to breathing normal while you ask yourself “Who Am I?” Take note of what comes into your head (visuals, thoughts, sound). Then ask and “And where does this ‘I’ come from?” And keep alternating like that over and over again. As long as you want. Just observe and take note. Don’t judge any thoughts.
So I go through the steps. And was like dang, I’ve gotten REALLY good at stilling my mind because when I asked “Who am I?” NOTHING. No thoughts! So I asked again a couple times. And got “I am the Soul” “Light” “I Am that I am” “Pure Consciousness.” So I thought dang, I’ve been trained well, c’mon he wanted labels (“Stop it J. you were told not to judge your results!”) and then I got “girl” “daughter.” (no judging J. that’s fine).
So decided to move on to second question. Where does this ‘I’ come from? “God.” That was it. No other answer. Okay.
Alternate back to first question. This time “I Am God.” Felt kinda bold and blasphemous, but is right in line with “I Am That I am” and saying God is in you. So I tried to tell myself there was nothing wrong or bold about it. Particularly since it kept repeating in my head over and over again and I was being flooded with energy. So this is what started coming:
“I AM GOD. That’s not arrogant. You are. God is the Creator and the Source of this Universe. Everything comes from God by definition. That’s why we have the word “God,” to explain the Source of everything. So if God made you and is the only Source (and He has to because he is what made everything. We‘re talking principal source here), then he had to make you out of himself, since there was no other source. Everything has to come from him. Therefore, you are literally God. You are made from God. Forget saying that there is a little spark inside you that is God. EVERY part of you is God. Its all made from his substance. Your little toe is God. That’s the only source and material. That is ALL you are. Every part of you is God. That’s who you are. YOU ARE GOD.
And where does this ‘I’ come from? This I, who is God, comes from God. It’s part of God. Therefore God is also you. You are God and God is you. You are part of him.
Who am I? I am God. God is a part of me. No, that’s not true. God is EVERY part of me. God is all I am. There is nothing else but that. That is my only essence.
I Am God and God is me.
God loves me . And I love God ,who is me and who I Am. Therefore I honestly love ME with all my heart. (And so much love radiated from my heart and filled me that I felt like I was PURE LOVE. So I “And I am love. I AM nothing but love. That‘s all there is. That‘s all I am” started playing in my head because that's what I was feeling. I literally felt like I was love).
I Am God and God is me. The same logic that applies to me, applies to every other person who was also made from the same Source and the same Creator. Therefore God is everyone else too.
So I am God. And God is everyone else. So I Am Everyone. I AM EVERYONE. If I Am God and God is everyone then I am also everyone. (and in my head it was playing like God being inside of me and inside of God was every other person in the world so they were all inside of me. BUT I was actually feeling like every person. Challenging to describe).
I Am my mother. I Am my father. I am all my ancestors. I Am Bush. I Am every homeless child in Haiti. (I went down a random list and FELT being everyone. Every person that's "annoyed" me. And I’ve never felt more pure compassion and understanding in all my life. I burst into sobs that I couldn’t stop as I felt being every person that flashed in my head). I get it. I get it. That's why since childhood I've actually felt pain when I saw anyone else suffer. I understand. They are me. It's me. It's not theoretical, it IS.
And it followed. I love God, who I am, so I love me. And everyone is God, everyone is me, so I genuinely love everyone. (and again the same incredible amount of pure love radiated from my heart and filled every part of me. And the room started spinning, and spinning and I felt like I was floating and there were little bright lights twinkling everywhere). And I finally jumped up to try to write all this down. I guess the human fear of not being able to hold on to that place, crept in and I wanted to make sure it didnt disappear.
Hmm… I’m not quite sure I was able to capture a fraction of that in words, but I tried. All, that for the simple answer that now rests next to the blank "Who Am I?" in my book: "I AM EVERYONE."
And interestingly enough, here is the quote that opened the book, "If you are coming to help me, you are wasting your time. But if you are coming because your liberation is bound up with mine, then let us work together." Australian, Aboriginal Woman.
Tuesday, February 16, 2010
I like to share my own personal meditations sometimes when I feel like they are super powerful. Tonight is one of those nights.
As many of you know, I kind of taught myself to meditate on my own when I was younger and tend to still prefer to let myself be guided by God rather than follow certain formal meditations. The result is I'm often led to very powerful exercises.
Lately my focus has been on not blocking my good, on being receptive and feeling worthy. On being able to accept my gifts, blessings, and manifestations when they are given to me, rather than blocking them through feelings of not deserving. On Sunday at Agape, Dr. Michael Beckwith prayed that we would all have the courage and strength to accept our desires and dreams when they are given to us. That pretty much sums up my focus lately. On feeling like I deserve all these wonderful things and eliminating any self-sabotage. So I've been doing work around feeling worthy and deserving, and releasing all guilt.
With that said, I'll just cut and paste from my journal entry tonight (kinda still floating in the air and feeling slightly lazy/ungrounded right now). (*Note this blog focuses on the process once you are already in a relaxed/meditative state. If you need help getting to that state check out http://myspiritualstudies.blogspot.com/2009_02_01_archive.html.)
"You deserve and are worthy of every gift and blessing you have because God chose to give them to you. If you didn’t deserve them, He wouldn’t have given them to you. But since he chose to give those blessings to you, He clearly thinks u deserve them. So embrace them & never feel guilty due to the blessings you receive."
The emphasis tonight was on deserving and being worthy.
So I kept saying “I’m a worthy child of my Father, Source, and Creator- God, and I deserve _____. I now gratefully and graciously completely accept and receive ______.” For everything (happiness, prosperity, success, etc). And the conclusion quoted above came into my consciousness as I was repeating this mantra. If God is giving it to me, then I really do deserve it. He thinks so, so why wouldn’t I think so too?? Who am I to argue with God?
It was an amazing meditation. I was completely filled with beautiful energy the whole time. But the culmination was what was really on another level.
I randomly started saying, “I am worthy of love. I am worthy of love. I deserve love. I deserve love.” Over and over again.
Then I started saying, “I deserve my mother’s love and so she loves me. I now accept ALL her love.” And suddenly felt any blocks to my mom's love that I’d placed with negative thoughts/emotions/my own insecurities, LIFT and allow all this love to flood in. Then I did the same thing for my father and all my family members. One by one. Letting go of all the "If I dont do this then she wont love me" hidden beliefs that had caused me to block love at one point or another due to my own projections or insecurities.
Then I did it for every ex-boyfriend and every guy I’ve ever dated or talked to. Even the ones I never took seriously. Even the ones who’s love I don’t feel like I really want because I don't want them in my life or want anything to do with them.
I said, “I deserve ______'s love and so he loved me. I now accept all his love.”
And went one by one. Even the guys I disqualified myself for whatever reason after a date or two. Because for some reason I had chosen to not allow them to love me. I went through the guys I never took seriously or allowed myself to get emotionally involved with because of their lifestyle or because they were "famous" (despite their many assurances).... Of course it hit me that I thought they couldn’t genuinely love me like that because they had so many other things…. But who was I to decide that? I deserve their love as much as I deserve the next person’s love. I’m worthy of GOD’S love, so why in the world wouldn’t I be worthy of theirs?? I had been worthy, but I blocked it with my own thoughts...... And so I allowed ALL the love I had blocked through my past insecurities and past feelings of not enoughness, to flood all through me. I went through EVERY guy I’ve ever had a physical relationship with and then every guy I've ever had a date with, one by one. And with EACH guy, I was flooded with waves and waves of love. By the end I felt like I was about to burst because the energy didnt fit anymore! It felt like I was floating in the air above my bed. It was absolutely amazing. Amazing. Amazing... Who would of thought I had blocked so much love throughout my life?"
I hope some of you all try it out and find it as powerful as I did.