Monday, November 22, 2010

Sex and Energy/Spirituality. And the Not-So Elusive Female Orgasm and the Not-Too Soon Male Orgasm

This topic has been coming up a lot lately and it's very important, so I want to address it. Sex is a central part of energy/spirituality and energy/spirituality is a central part of great sex. I’m a little short on time right now, so I’m going to take from things I’ve written lately and give helpful links. I’ll blog more about sexual blocks at a later day, but today I wanted to focus more on how to improve your sex life, and in turn, your spirituality. Sexual energy is crucial in the development of spirituality, and spirituality/energy work takes sex to whole other levels. This blog can be relevant even for those who are abstinent because you still have sexual energy that you can transmute and can derive benefits from. And you can learn to do everything below while being abstinent.

Today, I was in a discussion about the “elusive female orgasm.” But the female orgasm is really not elusive. The average statistics state that only about 30% of women orgasm from just intercourse alone. Some scientists believe that women can’t have an orgasm without clitoral stimulation period, and say the women who do have orgasms during intercourse are able to do so because anatomically these women have a short distance between their clitoris and vaginal opening, which causes clitoral stimulation during intercourse.

However, most women who practice Taoism or Tantra in their sex lives will likely tell you that’s not true. You are actually able to orgasm without even being physically touched. People commonly do so while practicing Tantric Fire Breathing. Anyone can learn how to do this, and experiencing it can bring a powerful perspective shift when it comes to the female orgasm, as it becomes clear that it’s not all that elusive.

You can check out Barbara Carrellas, the author of “Urban Tantra” doing so on the tv show Strange Sex, while scientist scan her brain to make sure the orgasm is legit: And speaking more about it on CNN: Barbara offers workshops, and you can check out her books and work at:

I think it’s worthwhile for every woman to learn how to not only do this, but to become multi-orgasmic and have full body orgasms. Otherwise, you’re missing out on the amazing possibilities that your body is holding. There’s absolutely nothing wrong with clitoral orgasms, but they’re short and not half as intense as a full body orgasm. When it comes to sexuality, I recommend to clients (and myself apply) Master Chia’s Universal Tao practices. Practicing his exercises leads to being multi-orgasmic and having “beyond orgasms.”

Plus these exercises make you a better lover. I was introduced to his work when I was in the process of becoming a Reiki Master. In order to become a Reiki Master you have to be able to hold a Kegel for a long time (about 4-5 minutes). And Master Chia’s exercises help you get there fast without you even noticing. Also through this practice, on top of being really good at sex, you can actually heal your partner through sex- like the song. Anyone can be a sexual healer.

Here’s his basic book for women (and the website has free lessons):

The male version of the book teaches men how to “go all night.” It teaches the basic practice of having orgasms without ejaculating, which allows men to keep going during sex. This is a great skill to have being that I just read that the average male ejaculates within 2-6 minutes of starting intercourse. Master Chia also teaches men how to have full body orgasms and how be multi-orgasmic.

Here is that book:

Definitely go slow and heed all the cautions in these books. Kundalini Syndrome isn’t fun. It might help to take a Kundalini yoga class at the same time or take a workshop. Oh and I'm not receiving anything from posting these links. Except for the good karma when your sex life improves, which I'll happily accept.

I also just noticed he has books called “Multi-Orgasmic Man” and “Multi-Orgasmic Woman,” I haven’t read those so I can’t recommend them, but I thought I would mention them for anyone who wants to check them out, since the titles make them sound on point.

The rest of my input on this topic is going to be cut and pasted from a note I recently wrote saying that I really wish they would teach this stuff as a sister course to sex education in high schools (where parents could opt their kids in if they want). In the note I detailed the benefits of learning Sexual Alchemy (what Master Chia teaches).


If there is one aspect of spirituality that can make a huge difference in your normal day to day physical life, this would probably be it. And it’s sad that people miss out on it.

I find there’s a big disconnect between women and their bodies/what their bodies can do. On top of the percentage of women who can orgasm from just intercourse being ridiculous, most women don’t even know when they’re the most fertile, that they can move their sacrum w/o moving their hips, how to squeeze their different diaphragms (or that they have multiple diaphragms.), and I have friends who’ve never had an orgasm (period- not just with a guy). There seems to be a disconnect between men and their bodies too. I’ve had a few men look at me like I’m crazy when I’ve informed them they can orgasm w/o ejaculating and therefore have sex much longer. I always thought there were enough pop culture references to this for it to be common knowledge....

While yes, you can argue that being able to derive huge pleasure from sex/your body and have multiple orgasms/”beyond orgasms” will pique kids sexual interest even more, they’re ALREADY going to have interest in sex regardless. And that’s the part that would make the class attractive and make them pay attention. Because who doesn’t want to know how to be really great at sexually pleasing their partner?? But then there’s the other side.

It would be awesome for kids to learn how to transmute sexual energy. That would be SUPER helpful. It’s not good to tell someone to be abstinent but not tell them what to do with their sexual energy that’s going to be there for them to deal with regardless. That causes unhealthy energy blocks. And then guilt if they act upon it (so many women have told me they thought the world was about to end the day they lost their virginity- they thought God was going to punish them). Knowing how to transmute your sexual energy makes being abstinent much easier and increases your creativity. And for those that aren’t abstinent- you can have tons of sex and still transmute the energy to increase your physical health, creativity, spirituality, vitality, youth, so it’s a good skill to have.

Transforming excess energy also helps people not need things like drugs to expend their energy on and decreases emotional turmoil. And, on top of learning to transmute sexual energy, this discipline also teaches people how to form heart connections before having sex and their importance, which could be a pretty big shift in regards to how people treat sex partners and the amount of respect given to each other and what they are doing….. I mean sex has been devalued to a crazy level in our society.

Universal Taoism teaches that mutual respect and love are prerequisites for good sex. And that, “To establish and maintain a good sexual relationship, the energies of both partners must be on the same level. They both must be healthy physically and emotionally, and they must be on the same spiritual level. Then when the two people are together, their energies- physical, emotional, and, finally, spiritual- will unite as one.” (Master Chia). Otherwise, turmoil tends to come about. I think this is a great foundation to give.

Above all, the best aspect to me would be helping people grow up with a healthier view of sex. I rarely come across anyone who doesn’t have emotional issues with sex/related to sex, usually due to unhealthy views (men have JUST as many if not more. And do you know how backwards it is for them to try to NOT be present during sex and think about something else?? That’s always tripped me out). It would be great for people to have a foundation that doesn’t bring dysfunction. And for women to be comfortable with their bodies and know the magic their bodies can bring. You should know your body- you live in it. It’s a great gift, and so is sex. Not only did God invent sex, but he made it the ONLY possible way that the human race could survive. Clearly He saw value in this act. Beause He could have chosen ANY other act to REQUIRE for us to survive (like rubbing noses or dropping an egg in a nest or something).

And also to shift the culture around sex overall… You don’t have to degrade women to have a good orgasm. You can have a “beyond orgasm” that’s 100 times better without any of that stuff. And maybe all this can transfer to healthier marriages and relationships because people develop much stronger sexual (and spiritual) connections and understand the nature of their sexual pleasure better. Your sexual intimacy increases so it’s easier to openly communicate about things. It may also decrease infidelity because sex is on another level with the partner you share a love connection with.

I always recommend checking out Taoist sexual practices to clients in my 10-week program. I really don’t think anyone should be deprived of it, so I wanted to share.

Also, wanted to add that sex can be very important to spirituality because its one of the most basic ways people experience Oneness. Aside from that, being able to transmute sexual energy to your crown can significantly increase your spirituality.

One last thing: You have two creative centers in your body, 1) your throat chakra and 2) sex chakra. One creates words and art, and the other life. And the 2 chakras are connected- a problem in one, affects the other and vice versa. So a healthy sex chakra is important for creativity. And on that note, you were made in the image and likeness of God, and if there's one thing we FOR SURE know God likes to do, it’s create. Make sure you are expressing your creative gifts. As not many things will frustrate u as much as not being able to express them & not many things will bring as much overall happiness as being in flow while creating.

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