A Personal, Powerful Meditation and Exercise From Tonight With Focus on Deserving

I like to share my own personal meditations sometimes when I feel like they are super powerful. Tonight is one of those nights.

As many of you know, I kind of taught myself to meditate on my own when I was younger and tend to still prefer to let myself be guided by God rather than follow certain formal meditations. The result is I'm often led to very powerful exercises.

Lately my focus has been on not blocking my good, on being receptive and feeling worthy. On being able to accept my gifts, blessings, and manifestations when they are given to me, rather than blocking them through feelings of not deserving. On Sunday at Agape, Dr. Michael Beckwith prayed that we would all have the courage and strength to accept our desires and dreams when they are given to us. That pretty much sums up my focus lately. On feeling like I deserve all these wonderful things and eliminating any self-sabotage. So I've been doing work around feeling worthy and deserving, and releasing all guilt.

With that said, I'll just cut and paste from my journal entry tonight (kinda still floating in the air and feeling slightly lazy/ungrounded right now). (*Note this blog focuses on the process once you are already in a relaxed/meditative state. If you need help getting to that state check out http://myspiritualstudies.blogspot.com/2009_02_01_archive.html.)

JOURNAL ENTRY-

Meditation Conclusion:

"You deserve and are worthy of every gift and blessing you have because God chose to give them to you. If you didn’t deserve them, He wouldn’t have given them to you. But since he chose to give those blessings to you, He clearly thinks u deserve them. So embrace them & never feel guilty due to the blessings you receive."


Process:

The emphasis tonight was on deserving and being worthy.

So I kept saying “I’m a worthy child of my Father, Source, and Creator- God, and I deserve _____. I now gratefully and graciously completely accept and receive ______.” For everything (happiness, prosperity, success, etc). And the conclusion quoted above came into my consciousness as I was repeating this mantra. If God is giving it to me, then I really do deserve it. He thinks so, so why wouldn’t I think so too?? Who am I to argue with God?

It was an amazing meditation. I was completely filled with beautiful energy the whole time. But the culmination was what was really on another level.

I randomly started saying, “I am worthy of love. I am worthy of love. I deserve love. I deserve love.” Over and over again.

Then I started saying, “I deserve my mother’s love and so she loves me. I now accept ALL her love.” And suddenly felt any blocks to my mom's love that I’d placed with negative thoughts/emotions/my own insecurities, LIFT and allow all this love to flood in. Then I did the same thing for my father and all my family members. One by one. Letting go of all the "If I dont do this then she wont love me" hidden beliefs that had caused me to block love at one point or another due to my own projections or insecurities.

Then I did it for every ex-boyfriend and every guy I’ve ever dated or talked to. Even the ones I never took seriously. Even the ones who’s love I don’t feel like I really want because I don't want them in my life or want anything to do with them.

I said, “I deserve ______'s love and so he loved me. I now accept all his love.”

And went one by one. Even the guys I disqualified myself for whatever reason after a date or two. Because for some reason I had chosen to not allow them to love me. I went through the guys I never took seriously or allowed myself to get emotionally involved with because of their lifestyle or because they were "famous" (despite their many assurances).... Of course it hit me that I thought they couldn’t genuinely love me like that because they had so many other things…. But who was I to decide that? I deserve their love as much as I deserve the next person’s love. I’m worthy of GOD’S love, so why in the world wouldn’t I be worthy of theirs?? I had been worthy, but I blocked it with my own thoughts...... And so I allowed ALL the love I had blocked through my past insecurities and past feelings of not enoughness, to flood all through me. I went through EVERY guy I’ve ever had a physical relationship with and then every guy I've ever had a date with, one by one. And with EACH guy, I was flooded with waves and waves of love. By the end I felt like I was about to burst because the energy didnt fit anymore! It felt like I was floating in the air above my bed. It was absolutely amazing. Amazing. Amazing... Who would of thought I had blocked so much love throughout my life?"

I hope some of you all try it out and find it as powerful as I did.